rainsometimes: (paako zurako)
[personal profile] rainsometimes
I wanted to post a short, none too serious shipfic for Gintoki/Katsura for Valentine's Day. It's past midnight in Sweden now, I was delayed due to unforseen computer issues.

This is so unpolished! Concrit extremely welcome. I'm not even sure if the ending lines work or if it needs a little more or less...

Title: There's Often A Spike In Nativity Numbers 9 Months After A Sudden Cold Snap
Words: almost 1000
Spoiler/setting: It can be set during canon time; I'm thinking of it as slightly in the future though
Pairing: Gintoki/Katsura
Flavour: Lowkey dumbassness
Disclaimer: Gintama and its characters belong to their creator Hideaki Sorachi. They are used here for entertainment purposes. This fic may not be used for profit in any way. Do not repost without the writer's permission.



Gintoki drew the blanket tighter around himself and gave the TV a sullen gaze. “These shows are just getting dumber and dumber… Where’s that damn remote?” He looked around the mess on the kotatsu, trying and failing to find the thing. “Zuraaa. Gimme some strawberry milk and help me find the remote!” he called out, trying to root for the remote underneath the kotatsu instead, using hand and foot.

“Get up and go change the channel yourself, you lazy slob!” Katsura called back from the kitchen.

“My tea’s not done yet. I was making instant coffee for you, don’t you want something warm?”

“If I get milk and four spoons of sugar.”

“You may have three.”

“Seriously, where did this thing go?” groused Gintoki, half to himself as he started to eat another tangerine.Don’t tell me Sadaharu ate it again…”

“Did your legs fall asleep or what? I know you don’t have a cursed kotatsu this time around.”

“The house is cold! I’ve already been out on the icy streets today, that was enough, thank you! Especially since Jump hadn’t even come out because of the sudden snowfall.”

“You’ve moaned about that three times already.” Katsura finally came in, bearing a tray with tea and coffee.

“It was supposed to be my reward for going out and buying groceries. Now I don’t have anything to read except this stupid teen magazine Kagura’s let lying around.”

“Actually, I think that one’s Shinpachi-kun’s,” said Katsura consideringly. “I heard Leader tell him he should buy one in order to learn how young women think so he can get a date one day.”

Gintoki blew on the coffee and took a sip. “Hah, she was just conning him so she could borrow it and read it for free, I bet.” The TV panel was currently discussing “Top Ten Galactic Tips On How To Seduce Your Dream Partner”, even though Valentine’s Day was two days earlier. None of the celebrities on the panel were to Gintoki’s liking.

Zura was watching the screen rather blankly, then shook his head. “This studio audience has absolutely no decorum," he muttered. "All right, fine.” He put down his cup of tea, and Gintoki assumed he’d finally get up and turn the TV set off, but instead he reached out in one sleeve and pulled out the remote control, then switched off the TV. “There.”

“You had it this whole time! You bastard!”

“So you don’t grow mold where you’re sitting. You need to move even if it’s cold!”

Gintoki opened his mouth to protest, but then stopped, noticing the pink hue to Zura’s cheeks. Hmm. Interesting.

A reaction to the TV panel topic? Worth seeing if Gintoki could fluster him with that. He shifted his seat, finished his tangerine and licked the remaining juice off his fingers. “Speaking of seduction…" he said off-handedly. "How would you go about seducing me?”

Zura widened his eyes a bit, the faint blush growing, though not as much as Gin had hoped for. Then coughed, put up his hand as if holding something invisible between thumb and forefinger, and said, “Gintoki, if you let me kiss you I will give you this piece of candy.”

“That’s not seduction, that’s barter!” objected Gintoki. “…Actually, no, it’s solicitation, you criminal.”

“But it would work,” said Zura smugly, sipping more of his tea.

“It so would not! Who do you take me for, I’m not that easy! I’d just overpower you and take the candy for myself.” He crossed his arms over his chest, jutting his chin out.

“Ha ha ha! You think I would let you?” Zura let his hand swing back and forth as if dangling that nonexistent piece of candy. Gintoki put a foot in his face, causing Zura to flail wildly and yelling about smelly feet.

“In any case, you’re missing the point!” said Gintoki. “That’s not seduction! It’s dry and unsexy! You might as well go” – he mimicked Zura’s voice and cadence -- “‘Gintoki, agree to have carnal relations with me and I won’t nag you for the next two hours’!”

Zura nodded seriously as if taking mental notes. “That would work, too,” he said, a small smile on his lips that was, unfortunately, stupidly cute. If still infuriating.

“It bloody wouldn’t! Who’s the lazy one now? Nobody would get seduced that way, you should apply yourself—” Gintoki paused, mid-speech. Zura had leaned closer and put one hand over Gin’s wrist. Gintoki found his own face heating up abruptly.

“How would you do it, then?” asked Zura, dropping his voice. “If it was me?” He smelled of jasmine tea and tangerines and something nice that was probably his soap; his eyes seemed larger than usual and suddenly all Gintoki could think of was the pouch with homemade chocolate Zura had given him for Valentine’s Day, two days ago.

“I’d—” he started, then swallowed. “I wouldn’t need to do much,” he rallied, not entirely honestly, “either you’re already in the mood and it’s just a matter of practicalities, or, or else I can just put on some stupid cat ears and that’s all it takes, you weirdo – mmf.”

Zura broke off the kiss. “See?” he said.

“See what? That didn’t prove anything!”

Zura’s hands were inside Gintoki’s kimono. “You don’t need to be seduced, you need someone warming you up,” he pointed out.

“You don’t even have any candy,” muttered Gintoki, pulling Zura closer again. “Take responsibility, you bastard. Start warming me up, then.” A part of him wanted to say something sappy like ‘I don’t need “someone” to do it, I only need you’, but it wouldn’t sound like him, would it? Another part of him wanted to get his remote control back. But mostly he just wanted Zura’s hands all over him, right now, and to repay the favour.

“And you don’t have any cat ears,” murmured Zura breathlessly, “but it’s all right, I can always imagine them.”

A longer kiss. ”Idiot,” Gintoki whispered; his chest already felt hot. Zura tasted of satisfaction and Zura-ness with a slice of horny, tempered with tangerines; and maybe that wasn’t such a bad combo, after all.

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