more silly Gintama nerdery, putting it here now, might repost to Tumblr later...
I've seen some neat fanart and some meta thoughts on which Hogwarts house to put Gintama characters in, and I wanted to join in. But then I maybe started to consider it too seriously, thinking of what we know (some spoilers ahead behind the cut, if vague ones) of what Gintoki, Katsura and Takasugi were like when they were 11 in canonverse. Also what we might extrapolate about Sakamoto, Shinpachi and Kagura. Also I needed to figure out if this was Harry Potter-verse, Harry Potter-influenced AU-verse, or if they characters had just been plucked from the canonverse like a portal crossover AU (or a jamjar RP!), transporting them directly from sort-of feudal Japan to Hogwarts proper or some Hogwarts-ified "Mahotokoro" placed in Japan but with Hogwarts Houses. (The Japanese magic school should really have some silly parody name to fit with Gintama...)
I went with "Hogwarts is now in Japan, okay, and Gintama-style feudal Japan always had secret wizards in it, who now need to adapt to the new futuristic world with aliens just like everyone else".
One thing I just can't do is to think away Shōyō from Gintoki's, Zura's and Takasugi's backstory -- no matter what. And while Wizard Shōyō is easy to picture, seeing him applying to Hogwarts looking to work there isn't. I feel like he'd lead some small free-style wandering magic school in the countryside, if anything. Which is kind of an appealing thought, but irrelevant to Sorting.
But whatever! Whether Shōyō is the only one to be portalled in from canonverse, and find himself to his bemusement being given a position of some kind at Now-In-Japan!Hogwarts, or he is also from this AU and wounded up associated with this same Hogwarts for contorted reasons, the point is that the school gives him the task of collecting two orphans (Gintoki and Katsura) who will turn 11 soon, but who don't have caretakers to look out for them and tell them what to get and where to go. In essence, do what Hagrid did for Harry, though there are no Dursleys.
Shōyō meets young Gintoki first in a situation that might not be too different from canon. Only instead of -- or in addition to -- giving the boy his sword and telling him he can teach him how to use it right, he would bring magic into it. Confirming for Gintoki that yes, you're a wizard, but there are others like you, and you can go to school and learn how to use it right.
After he gets little Gintoki to follow him, Shōyō goes on to meet little Katsura with Gintoki in tow. Katsura already comes from a wizard family, even if his parents and grandmother are all gone now, but it does mean he knows the basics at least, and he's read up on things in secret so he's fairly well-informed for his age and situation.
Then the three of them run into little Takasugi, who's already got his Hogwarts letter in the mail and wasn't too surprised. He's from a wizard family and while he always gets told he's a disappointment, he does know he has magic. Already very much at odds with his family and his class background and eager for new influences, he's intrigued and then impressed by Shōyō from the start, and when something happens on the way to Now-In-Japan!Hogwarts (train breaks down or something? airship accident? terrorism?) he jumps on the opportunity to follow Shōyō and the other two boys to make their own way to the school. They have a number of adventures on the way there, getting to know each other. Gintoki and Takasugi start to spar (with magic or training swords, or both) and Takasugi loses, wanting a rematch of course.
Okay, so! That's the set-up. The sorting, now... Takasugi I would in terms of personality absolutely put in Slytherin, no questions about it. EXCEPT it makes a difference if we're talking Fanon!Slytherin, as the Edgelord House -- which would very much appeal to young Shinsuke -- or closer to canon Slytherin, as the Bigot Establishment House. What we know of Takasugi's family suggests they might well be in favour of the latter for Shinsuke. Which would then make Takasugi adamant about turning away from it, and instead picking the house that's always in conflict with Slytherin, namely Gryffindor.
If Gintoki is Sorted before Takasugi and goes to Gryffindor, that would make another incentive for Takasugi to argue with the Sorting Hat that that's where he want to go (so he can keep sparring with that annoying permhead boy and finally defeat him!). Given his courage and recklessness I can see the Sorting Hat reluctantly agreeing.
Most of all, though, Takasugi would want to be in whichever House would be most associated with Shōyō.
Shōyō wouldn't really care about things like Houses, however, and would probably try to avoid being given any such association. Which he probably could, as an adult teacher. If he for whatever reason was forced to pick a House to be tied to, it would be either Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw. I'm thinking probably Ravenclaw.
Young Katsura the scholarship student would most likely be a Ravenclaw and probably happy for it. He also has Hufflepuffy leanings at that age. His older self is cunning, ruthless and ambitious enough that Slytherin is a good choice, too, but I don't know if that would have been as true when he was little. Nor am I sure if the Sorting Hat would sense his huge idealistic streak and suggest Gryffindor as an alternative... However, if both Gintoki and Takasugi are sorted before him (won't happen if they go by alphabet, though), and if they both go to Gryffindor, little Katsura might go, "But I need to go where those two idiots are, they need looking after!" and also insist on Gryffindor. Otherwise, though, I'd say Ravenclaw.
Young Gintoki honestly feels more like Gryffindor than anything else. The emphasis on hard work for Hufflepuff would probably put him off that House, and he liked to fight and spar a lot, which feels Gryffindor-ish. Even looking at adult canon-age Gintoki his very core values are about protecting others regardless of cost to himself. He's unlikely to go into Ravenclaw or Slytherin (ambition? what ambition?). Though like for Takasugi if Shōyō does have an association to one House that could be the deciding factor for him.
...Although maybe it could go the other way around and it would be Shōyō who'd pick Gryffindor over Ravenclaw, if he has to make any House choice, because Gintoki's been sorted into Gryffindor and he wants to look out for him.
Then again, maybe Shōyō would start an after-school club for students who want to learn a new approach to magic, a club that would be open to all students from all Houses. In that case Gintoki, Katsura and Takasugi would be his first three students, and it might not matter that much if they're all in different Houses.
So to sum up: if Gintoki's sorted first, and there's no such club, and Takasugi's folks are Slytherin, they all go to Gryffindor.
Otherwise it's Gintoki-Gryffindor, Katsura-Ravenclaw and Takasugi-Slytherin.
Oh, and Sakamoto must come in later as some kind of exchange student in like the third or fourth year or something. I see him as either a Gryffindor or a surprise-Slytherin (because he's highly ambitious!).
Now for Shinpachi and Kagura. Here I don't have any detailed background thoughts. I guess Kagura just happens to make the decision to go to Earth three years earlier -- maybe a good opening came up in a passing spaceship -- and once she's there she gets the Hogwarts letter, shrugs and turns up, chewing sukonbu. (Maybe Gintoki is even a teacher there by now...)
Shinpachi is easy. Hufflepuff, Hufflepuff, Hufflepuff. Yes, he wants to be stronger and more reliable than he starts out as: he wants to be able to protect more people, which might look Gryffindory. But I think of that more as "Gintama samurai values" than solely Gryffindory values, and Gintama teaches that you can be your own kind of samurai in any case. Shinpachi is very aware of his Hufflepuff-y personality and that's what he bases himself on, even as his values might be a little bit more Gryffindor than is Hufflepuff standard.
Kagura is more tricky, because if you look at her core values (family, belonging, not being lonely) they're more Hufflepuffy than anything else. But her personality in general might well overshadow that. I'm thinking the Sorting Hat might not be able to see all the way to those values but be overwhelmed by her bright shining forthright Kaguraness and the best thing it could do would be HOUSE OF HEROES, that is to say Gryffindor.
However, would Kagura listen or not? She might take his word for it because whatever. Or she might instead turn a deaf ear and insist on some House because of a flip association that has nothing to do with reality. "I heard Slytherin is good for cool heroines!" or "I saw a fat kid who's a Ravenclaw, so I bet Ravenclaws get the most food and I want that!!" or "I want whichever House is most likely to give me a big magical creature I can play with without hurting it!!" All up in the air, really.
addendum: thinking about it more, I actually kinda like the idea that Kagura meets Shinpachi before getting Sorted and even though at first she's acting all superior and dismissive towards him, in fact - not that she ever admits this - she asks the Sorting Hat to put her in Hufflepuff because she does want to go to the same House as her new friend.
I've seen some neat fanart and some meta thoughts on which Hogwarts house to put Gintama characters in, and I wanted to join in. But then I maybe started to consider it too seriously, thinking of what we know (some spoilers ahead behind the cut, if vague ones) of what Gintoki, Katsura and Takasugi were like when they were 11 in canonverse. Also what we might extrapolate about Sakamoto, Shinpachi and Kagura. Also I needed to figure out if this was Harry Potter-verse, Harry Potter-influenced AU-verse, or if they characters had just been plucked from the canonverse like a portal crossover AU (or a jamjar RP!), transporting them directly from sort-of feudal Japan to Hogwarts proper or some Hogwarts-ified "Mahotokoro" placed in Japan but with Hogwarts Houses. (The Japanese magic school should really have some silly parody name to fit with Gintama...)
I went with "Hogwarts is now in Japan, okay, and Gintama-style feudal Japan always had secret wizards in it, who now need to adapt to the new futuristic world with aliens just like everyone else".
One thing I just can't do is to think away Shōyō from Gintoki's, Zura's and Takasugi's backstory -- no matter what. And while Wizard Shōyō is easy to picture, seeing him applying to Hogwarts looking to work there isn't. I feel like he'd lead some small free-style wandering magic school in the countryside, if anything. Which is kind of an appealing thought, but irrelevant to Sorting.
But whatever! Whether Shōyō is the only one to be portalled in from canonverse, and find himself to his bemusement being given a position of some kind at Now-In-Japan!Hogwarts, or he is also from this AU and wounded up associated with this same Hogwarts for contorted reasons, the point is that the school gives him the task of collecting two orphans (Gintoki and Katsura) who will turn 11 soon, but who don't have caretakers to look out for them and tell them what to get and where to go. In essence, do what Hagrid did for Harry, though there are no Dursleys.
Shōyō meets young Gintoki first in a situation that might not be too different from canon. Only instead of -- or in addition to -- giving the boy his sword and telling him he can teach him how to use it right, he would bring magic into it. Confirming for Gintoki that yes, you're a wizard, but there are others like you, and you can go to school and learn how to use it right.
After he gets little Gintoki to follow him, Shōyō goes on to meet little Katsura with Gintoki in tow. Katsura already comes from a wizard family, even if his parents and grandmother are all gone now, but it does mean he knows the basics at least, and he's read up on things in secret so he's fairly well-informed for his age and situation.
Then the three of them run into little Takasugi, who's already got his Hogwarts letter in the mail and wasn't too surprised. He's from a wizard family and while he always gets told he's a disappointment, he does know he has magic. Already very much at odds with his family and his class background and eager for new influences, he's intrigued and then impressed by Shōyō from the start, and when something happens on the way to Now-In-Japan!Hogwarts (train breaks down or something? airship accident? terrorism?) he jumps on the opportunity to follow Shōyō and the other two boys to make their own way to the school. They have a number of adventures on the way there, getting to know each other. Gintoki and Takasugi start to spar (with magic or training swords, or both) and Takasugi loses, wanting a rematch of course.
Okay, so! That's the set-up. The sorting, now... Takasugi I would in terms of personality absolutely put in Slytherin, no questions about it. EXCEPT it makes a difference if we're talking Fanon!Slytherin, as the Edgelord House -- which would very much appeal to young Shinsuke -- or closer to canon Slytherin, as the Bigot Establishment House. What we know of Takasugi's family suggests they might well be in favour of the latter for Shinsuke. Which would then make Takasugi adamant about turning away from it, and instead picking the house that's always in conflict with Slytherin, namely Gryffindor.
If Gintoki is Sorted before Takasugi and goes to Gryffindor, that would make another incentive for Takasugi to argue with the Sorting Hat that that's where he want to go (so he can keep sparring with that annoying permhead boy and finally defeat him!). Given his courage and recklessness I can see the Sorting Hat reluctantly agreeing.
Most of all, though, Takasugi would want to be in whichever House would be most associated with Shōyō.
Shōyō wouldn't really care about things like Houses, however, and would probably try to avoid being given any such association. Which he probably could, as an adult teacher. If he for whatever reason was forced to pick a House to be tied to, it would be either Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw. I'm thinking probably Ravenclaw.
Young Katsura the scholarship student would most likely be a Ravenclaw and probably happy for it. He also has Hufflepuffy leanings at that age. His older self is cunning, ruthless and ambitious enough that Slytherin is a good choice, too, but I don't know if that would have been as true when he was little. Nor am I sure if the Sorting Hat would sense his huge idealistic streak and suggest Gryffindor as an alternative... However, if both Gintoki and Takasugi are sorted before him (won't happen if they go by alphabet, though), and if they both go to Gryffindor, little Katsura might go, "But I need to go where those two idiots are, they need looking after!" and also insist on Gryffindor. Otherwise, though, I'd say Ravenclaw.
Young Gintoki honestly feels more like Gryffindor than anything else. The emphasis on hard work for Hufflepuff would probably put him off that House, and he liked to fight and spar a lot, which feels Gryffindor-ish. Even looking at adult canon-age Gintoki his very core values are about protecting others regardless of cost to himself. He's unlikely to go into Ravenclaw or Slytherin (ambition? what ambition?). Though like for Takasugi if Shōyō does have an association to one House that could be the deciding factor for him.
...Although maybe it could go the other way around and it would be Shōyō who'd pick Gryffindor over Ravenclaw, if he has to make any House choice, because Gintoki's been sorted into Gryffindor and he wants to look out for him.
Then again, maybe Shōyō would start an after-school club for students who want to learn a new approach to magic, a club that would be open to all students from all Houses. In that case Gintoki, Katsura and Takasugi would be his first three students, and it might not matter that much if they're all in different Houses.
So to sum up: if Gintoki's sorted first, and there's no such club, and Takasugi's folks are Slytherin, they all go to Gryffindor.
Otherwise it's Gintoki-Gryffindor, Katsura-Ravenclaw and Takasugi-Slytherin.
Oh, and Sakamoto must come in later as some kind of exchange student in like the third or fourth year or something. I see him as either a Gryffindor or a surprise-Slytherin (because he's highly ambitious!).
Now for Shinpachi and Kagura. Here I don't have any detailed background thoughts. I guess Kagura just happens to make the decision to go to Earth three years earlier -- maybe a good opening came up in a passing spaceship -- and once she's there she gets the Hogwarts letter, shrugs and turns up, chewing sukonbu. (Maybe Gintoki is even a teacher there by now...)
Shinpachi is easy. Hufflepuff, Hufflepuff, Hufflepuff. Yes, he wants to be stronger and more reliable than he starts out as: he wants to be able to protect more people, which might look Gryffindory. But I think of that more as "Gintama samurai values" than solely Gryffindory values, and Gintama teaches that you can be your own kind of samurai in any case. Shinpachi is very aware of his Hufflepuff-y personality and that's what he bases himself on, even as his values might be a little bit more Gryffindor than is Hufflepuff standard.
Kagura is more tricky, because if you look at her core values (family, belonging, not being lonely) they're more Hufflepuffy than anything else. But her personality in general might well overshadow that. I'm thinking the Sorting Hat might not be able to see all the way to those values but be overwhelmed by her bright shining forthright Kaguraness and the best thing it could do would be HOUSE OF HEROES, that is to say Gryffindor.
However, would Kagura listen or not? She might take his word for it because whatever. Or she might instead turn a deaf ear and insist on some House because of a flip association that has nothing to do with reality. "I heard Slytherin is good for cool heroines!" or "I saw a fat kid who's a Ravenclaw, so I bet Ravenclaws get the most food and I want that!!" or "I want whichever House is most likely to give me a big magical creature I can play with without hurting it!!" All up in the air, really.
addendum: thinking about it more, I actually kinda like the idea that Kagura meets Shinpachi before getting Sorted and even though at first she's acting all superior and dismissive towards him, in fact - not that she ever admits this - she asks the Sorting Hat to put her in Hufflepuff because she does want to go to the same House as her new friend.