![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rainsometimes...Till You're Both Old and Grey
Today November 9 is the day when chapter 563 of Gintama first came out in Japan, in 2015. It's a chapter that's very relevant to those of us who ship Gintoki/Katsura with a meaningful childlhood flashback in it.
[Right as I write this the date has actually changed in Sweden to 10 November, but it's still the right day in many places of the world, so I press on! And I did manage to post the first half of this shortfic before midnight!]
*cough* Anyway, I wrote an off-the-cuff shortfic for the occasion, one half from Katsura's POV and one from Gintoki's. Vague spoilers up to chapter 564.
Word Count: 838
I wonder, sometimes, if you even still remember that day at all, what happened when you first came up with that silly nickname and got me to spar with you and him for real the first time. Even when we were still kids I would sometimes wonder if you’d already forgotten it. Perhaps to you it’s just pure habit that makes you stick to the nickname, that and sheer stubbornness. I don’t think even you would solely keep it up just to annoy me. No, even if you’ve forgotten, you clearly have a liking for that dumb name. And it is one syllable less, you lazy bastard.
Of course I can’t be reasonably expected to just accept your condition unconditionally, can I? I told you back on that day: you must show that you have what it takes to be a general. And frankly, a lot of the time you fall short! I have high standards, you know; there’s no way I could just relax if you’re not going to measure up!
I can challenge you too, you know.
I’m not saying it’s not often habit on my part, too, when I keep protesting and tell you to use my real name. It’s hard to let go of the reflex. Plus, every character needs a good running gag and a catchphrase. You never really seem to mind. Your hidden warmth and great wide heart always carries me through. I don’t know if you even notice the times when I don’t object...
But even if you have forgotten… that doesn’t really matter. You behave the same way you always have. The heart of it is the same. You gave me that name and you made sure to make yourself my equal if you had to shout it into my skull, and you won’t take either of those back, ever. It’s how the sun will always shine. And all my feints and masks and complicated plans and even my gags simply fall apart in the face of that. It’s too simple. It’s too important. There's just nothing I can do about it and it makes me so happy to know.
I want to be by your side and hear you call me by a nickname that I can grumble about till we’re both old and gray.
You probably think I don’t even notice at all. You probably think so ever since we were dumb kids and I would lounge about in a tree or some other good spot, picking my nose and giving you a lazy look. Maybe you even think I’ve forgotten how it all started. I guess I don’t openly show any signs that I haven’t. I mean, even back then I told Takasugi he had to cover nearly half the week for being a general and I would only take Sundays. But, I mean, otherwise you wouldn’t have believed me, would you? If I start sounding all energetic or, worse, dutiful, it won’t really sound like me, right?
I have to be me like you have to be you. Or there’s no point.
We can just go back and forth and back and forth, but at the end of the day you really do need someone to stop being such a tight-ass and if it takes you unleashing your infernal nagging on me I guess I’ll take it. As long as I can still kick you in the head when you’re being too annoying. You’ve got the hardest head ever, after all.
Can I still keep you? Can you still stay here, and be dumb, and be a pain, and be sad and infuriating and beautiful, can I still kiss you all the same? I know I don’t deserve to.
But you know, Zura, I do notice. All those times when you don’t object to my nickname. Even if it’s just because you’re distracted or you think you’ve said it enough times or you found a clever twist on your catchphrase. It doesn’t matter! It still counts! I act like I never pay any attention either way, but believe me, I notice it. I tuck those times away inside me like the moments when I look at you smiling or shrugging with such warmth and strength in your eyes and I can’t believe anyone could be so beautiful. Like the times when I feel the scent of spring and it makes me think of you.
There’s been more and more of those times, when you could have objected but didn’t. I don’t know if that means something. I don’t know if I’m expected to do something.
Here, now, both of us; underneath a leafy tree in the park, the sun shining in through gaps in the leaves, your hair just a little muddled, your smell of strength and lunacy and floral shampoo, holding me, too close not to be real. This is all we need, isn’t it? I can’t think decades ahead. This is just us, now, just Gin and Zura, and there’s no need for any Katsura here.
Today November 9 is the day when chapter 563 of Gintama first came out in Japan, in 2015. It's a chapter that's very relevant to those of us who ship Gintoki/Katsura with a meaningful childlhood flashback in it.
[Right as I write this the date has actually changed in Sweden to 10 November, but it's still the right day in many places of the world, so I press on! And I did manage to post the first half of this shortfic before midnight!]
*cough* Anyway, I wrote an off-the-cuff shortfic for the occasion, one half from Katsura's POV and one from Gintoki's. Vague spoilers up to chapter 564.
Word Count: 838
I wonder, sometimes, if you even still remember that day at all, what happened when you first came up with that silly nickname and got me to spar with you and him for real the first time. Even when we were still kids I would sometimes wonder if you’d already forgotten it. Perhaps to you it’s just pure habit that makes you stick to the nickname, that and sheer stubbornness. I don’t think even you would solely keep it up just to annoy me. No, even if you’ve forgotten, you clearly have a liking for that dumb name. And it is one syllable less, you lazy bastard.
Of course I can’t be reasonably expected to just accept your condition unconditionally, can I? I told you back on that day: you must show that you have what it takes to be a general. And frankly, a lot of the time you fall short! I have high standards, you know; there’s no way I could just relax if you’re not going to measure up!
I can challenge you too, you know.
I’m not saying it’s not often habit on my part, too, when I keep protesting and tell you to use my real name. It’s hard to let go of the reflex. Plus, every character needs a good running gag and a catchphrase. You never really seem to mind. Your hidden warmth and great wide heart always carries me through. I don’t know if you even notice the times when I don’t object...
But even if you have forgotten… that doesn’t really matter. You behave the same way you always have. The heart of it is the same. You gave me that name and you made sure to make yourself my equal if you had to shout it into my skull, and you won’t take either of those back, ever. It’s how the sun will always shine. And all my feints and masks and complicated plans and even my gags simply fall apart in the face of that. It’s too simple. It’s too important. There's just nothing I can do about it and it makes me so happy to know.
I want to be by your side and hear you call me by a nickname that I can grumble about till we’re both old and gray.
You probably think I don’t even notice at all. You probably think so ever since we were dumb kids and I would lounge about in a tree or some other good spot, picking my nose and giving you a lazy look. Maybe you even think I’ve forgotten how it all started. I guess I don’t openly show any signs that I haven’t. I mean, even back then I told Takasugi he had to cover nearly half the week for being a general and I would only take Sundays. But, I mean, otherwise you wouldn’t have believed me, would you? If I start sounding all energetic or, worse, dutiful, it won’t really sound like me, right?
I have to be me like you have to be you. Or there’s no point.
We can just go back and forth and back and forth, but at the end of the day you really do need someone to stop being such a tight-ass and if it takes you unleashing your infernal nagging on me I guess I’ll take it. As long as I can still kick you in the head when you’re being too annoying. You’ve got the hardest head ever, after all.
Can I still keep you? Can you still stay here, and be dumb, and be a pain, and be sad and infuriating and beautiful, can I still kiss you all the same? I know I don’t deserve to.
But you know, Zura, I do notice. All those times when you don’t object to my nickname. Even if it’s just because you’re distracted or you think you’ve said it enough times or you found a clever twist on your catchphrase. It doesn’t matter! It still counts! I act like I never pay any attention either way, but believe me, I notice it. I tuck those times away inside me like the moments when I look at you smiling or shrugging with such warmth and strength in your eyes and I can’t believe anyone could be so beautiful. Like the times when I feel the scent of spring and it makes me think of you.
There’s been more and more of those times, when you could have objected but didn’t. I don’t know if that means something. I don’t know if I’m expected to do something.
Here, now, both of us; underneath a leafy tree in the park, the sun shining in through gaps in the leaves, your hair just a little muddled, your smell of strength and lunacy and floral shampoo, holding me, too close not to be real. This is all we need, isn’t it? I can’t think decades ahead. This is just us, now, just Gin and Zura, and there’s no need for any Katsura here.
no subject
Date: 2020-11-11 03:03 pm (UTC)I reread this twice because it's such a short but meaningful line!
no subject
Date: 2020-11-11 09:35 pm (UTC)