repost fic: Holiday Germs (Luffy/Usopp)
Dec. 25th, 2009 03:01 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rainsometimes[repost fic originally posted to the LJ comm dualcaptains. Reposted to my DW journal in March 2022 due to Livejournal's uncertain future. Backdated to its original posting date. Retaining the original author notes here and everything else.]
Christmas present fordoewiebele! From the second prompt, “Usopp is sick during X-max; Luffy tries to cheer him up”. I’m not sure why this wounded up so long, but brevity is often hard for me. Hope you have the patience to read through it!
Concrit would be great, as always.
Title: Holiday Germs
Rating: mild PG
Media: fic
Background pairings: none
Summary: see prompt above. Also, Usopp is grumpy (and the writer is long-winded).
Spoilers/setting: Set anytime after Thriller Bark.
Merry Christmas!
"And here I always heard idiots can't catch colds," mused Nami, taking her hand away from Usopp's forehead. "Looks like I was wrong, though."
"...Hey!” protested Usopp. "That's not funny at all! I'm suffering here!" He sneezed noisily, wiped his nose on his sash, and then blinked. "A cold? That's what I've got?"
Nami shrugged. "Sure what it looks like to me. You cough and you sneeze, you definitely have a fever, you're dizzy, you said your head felt thick... thicker than usual, I mean." She grinned. "Chopper will probably say the same once he gets down." The doctor was taking the watch up in the crow's nest right now, so Nami was filling in.
"Huh. A cold," said Usopp thoughtfully. "Never had one of those before."
"Well, maybe it means you're growing smarter," said Nami, getting up and walking away from where they'd been sitting by Usopp's branch office on the third deck.
"...Wait!" Usopp burst out, ignoring her remark. "Isn't that the kind of thing that looks all harmless and then suddenly you drop dead?"
"Where did you hear that? No. It's the kind of thing where you feel bad for a while and have to take it easy, and then you get better." Nami's head peeped out from the tangerine trees. "Unless you develop pneumonia, I guess. But that's what we've got Chopper for, so he can stop it."
"Pn-pneumonia?!" Usopp squeaked, then abruptly slumped, head hang low. "I bet that's what I got," he muttered. "I feel really weird, you know..."
"No wonder, if you're serious about never being sick before," said Nami. "Except for all those I'll die-if-I-have-to-do-this-or-that-diseases, of course." She strolled back, holding one single tangerine in her hand, then tossed it to Usopp. "Here. It's good for this kind of thing."
"Oh!" Usopp's eyes widened. "Thanks!!" But he didn’t start peeling the fruit right away as he normally would have, before Nami could change her mind or Luffy pop up from nowhere and steal it. He put it away in his bag instead. Nami frowned but chose not to comment.
"I guess you must have got it from someone at the last island," she said instead.
"Eh? I dunno, I didn’t think about it... People cough and sneeze all the time, you know, it's not like you can just duck and hide from someone just because of that," babbled Usopp, looking like he was regretting not having done precisely that.
Nami put her head to the side critically, giving Usopp another look from tip to toe. "You know, you're really looking pretty pale. You should probably go to bed."
"But I don’t wanna," whined Usopp. "It's only four days till Christmas! We were going to start decorating... and do some Christmas fishing... and finish Christmas presents... and play Christmas pranks..."
She gave another shrug. "Well, then don't. I'm just saying it might be a good idea, if you want to get better faster. I don't think you have to, though. Like I said, it doesn't look serious."
"Easy for you to say," huffed Usopp. "It might be really serious for all you know. Uh." He stood still for a moment with a hesitant look. "Well, then... I'm going down to get decorations and... you know..." he waved vaguely, then started to walk towards the ladder. Before reaching it, he stumbled and had to clutch the railing not to fall. "Um..."
"Bunk," stated Nami firmly. "You don't have the energy for that stuff now, anyway."
"...maybe I should take a nap for just a bit," mumbled Usopp, as Nami gently pushed him towards the ladder, then started to climb down before him so she could catch him if he fell. Luckily for Usopp's wallet, perhaps, he managed to make it to the ground.
During the next few days, Usopp mostly holed up in his bunk except for mealtimes, and even those he slept away some of them. He just wasn't very hungry. Sporadically he'd make efforts to go out on deck – especially after they got huge amounts of snow – or down to his workshop. But instead of feeling invigorated and cheerful by the snow, he just wound up tired after making one single snow lantern, the cold making him shiver. By the time Chopper started to frown and make disapproving hums, Usopp was already more than ready to call it quits and go inside.
He tried going to the workshop, bringing blankets to guard against the cold. But his hands felt so weary and awkward, his thoughts sluggish and kind of walled-in. All the neat ideas he'd seemed to have for Christmas gifts fell to the ground like birds that had been shot, stupid and useless. It just felt pointless. He shoved all the half-finished things away from the work-bench impatiently, then sighed and got up with a groan, going to the galley to warm up and sulk for a while.
It was warm enough in the galley, and Sanji didn't really seem to mind him being there, though he did make some snarky comments about people who were whining way too much about a simple cold. As if he'd ever been sick. He made sure Usopp had something warm to drink, but got way too annoyed and fussy by coughing and sneezing anywhere close to food. And again, Usopp still felt tired and got sleepy all the time. So, back to the bunk it was.
*
Luffy was also disappointed that Usopp couldn't take part of Christmas preparations. They would have had so much fun putting everything up all over the place, sneaking goodies from the kitchen and making up silly Christmas games. And the thought that Usopp might not even be able to take part of the Christmas party itself was so sad it was just dumb.
Nevertheless, he still had enough enthusiasm for two, especially since Chopper, Brook and Franky were quite willing to help out. Some Yuletide traditions everyone knew about, but most of them were different from island to island. Luffy happily took up those he thought sounded cool, sometimes getting them wrong; and wasted no time in imparting Christmas wisdom to those in the crew who seemed to need it. (Robin had never really celebrated Christmas; Chopper had never done so with a group of people; Brook hadn't celebrated with a group of living people for a very long time; and so on.)
But with all of that going on, Luffy also made sure to run into the boys' cabin every so often. Clearly, Usopp needed cheering up! So his captain would plop himself down on the bunk opposite and tell him everything that was going on outside on deck and everywhere else.
"Man, you shoulda seen Brook getting all tangled up in ribbons and glitter!” he said, laughing.
"Uh. That sounds cool," muttered Usopp, his foot twitching. Then he started coughing.
Another time, Luffy reported, "I was going to make a snow fortress but there wasn't enough snow, so we used it all for snowballs instead – me and Franky nearly won against Brook and Chopper and Sanji!"
Usopp sighed wistfully. "I wanted to be in a snowball fight too..." he mumbled.
And yet another time, Luffy burst in: "Oh, oh, oh! Usopp, you gotta come up and see what we did on third deck. Only hurry 'cause I'm not sure Nami's gonna like what we did to the tangerine trees, come seeee!"
That time Usopp did let himself get coaxed outside, sneezing all the way – and he grinned wide when he saw third deck, but he still also sighed a lot and soon went back down. Usopp just wasn't as fun as usual like this. Even when Luffy told him how Sanji and Brook had ended up kissing each other though none of them wanted to – it was some mix-up between two different traditions or something; Luffy was quite vague on how it had happened – and the looks on their faces right then – even when he said all that, Usopp didn't start guffawing like he usually would.
Instead he groaned, "Gaaah! That's too funny! Why couldn't I have been there to see that?" And he rolled over in his bed, all put out and sulky.
In fact, Usopp had discovered the special kind of self-centred grumpiness that sometimes comes with a head cold, when people know they're being selfish and unfair but not giving a damn about it, because they have a cold and feel all walled off and miserable. This particular state can contain a certain contrarian pleasure, even.
Luffy didn't know all that, but he did know that Usopp wasn't like he used to be at all, and that made him frown and pout, too. But he didn't give up – he kept popping in on the suffering sniper, often dragging small bits of Christmas with him, from snow to glitter to mysterious bits of machinery that he'd nicked from Franky.
The thing Usopp complained most about was the Christmas presents. "I'll never be able to finish them now!" he wailed. "Not even one of them! And if I did finish one I still wouldn't want to give it away now because it would be unfair to the rest! Now everyone's going to think I'm the kind of guy who just forgets his friends!"
"But everyone knows you're all sick now," Luffy pointed out, scratching his head. "And if theyve forgotten, I can always remind them! We could put up a banner about it," he mused.
"That would just be silly," said Usopp. "All right, I guess they know that. It still sucks, though." He crossed his arms and scowled.
"Wait, I know!" Luffy straightened up, smacking his fist into his palm. "I remembered Zoro told me that back where he grew up, they didn't celebrate Christmas at all!"
"Really?” said Usopp, blinking. “How awful."
"He said they gave each other presents on New Year's Day instead. So you could give us Zoro's-island-presents then!"
"...I dunno. Maybe. It's still not the same," muttered Usopp.
"Huuuh." Luffy crossed his arms too, tilting his head way to the side as he looked at Usopp. Then he stretched one arm and reached out to grab Usopp's nose, shaking it and his head up and down.
"Hey!! Stop that, idiot!" Usopp reached up and pulled Luffy's hand away. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" He glared at Luffy, his face red with anger as well as fever. "Don't do that, I'm sick!"
Luffy's arm snapped back. "I was trying to see if I could shake off some Stupid Germs from you," he explained. "'Cause that cold is making you dumber. Nee-ner!" He pulled at his mouth and stretched out his tongue.
Usopp grimaced back. "That's not how it works, and you're the one who's being dumber!" he shot back, though somehow he had a feeling Luffy had a point. He sank back on his mountain of pillows. "Anyway," he said more peacefully, "Nami would say it was the other way around."
Luffy sat back again, putting his hands behind his head. "I don"t think presents matter much, anyway," he said. "It’s way more important we have a big party with enough to eat, and Sanji says we will! And music and drink and dancing and all that." He smiled widely at the thought.
"I guess," sighed Usopp. "It's just that..." He looked off into the air, as if seeing something very far away. "I remember back in the village, everyone got together in the inn on Christmas night. And there'd be food and music and grown-ups dressing up and being silly... and all of us kids got presents, at least one each. From a big pile in front of the fire. Some of the grown-ups exchanged gifts with each other, but not all of them. But all the kids got presents. And that was neat. It was fun running around in the crowd and hiding under tables too! Easy to play tricks on people, that way."
He chuckled at the memory, then added, "When I got older I'd also make presents and leave them around where people could find them – some of them were just jokes but some were for real! That was fun, too."
"Oh," said Luffy, shrugging. "We just had a big party wherever we were," he said after a moment, picking his nose thoughtfully. "Up in the mountains or down in the village or in the jungle or wherever, even when we were really supposed to train–" he made a face at that –"we always had a big Christmas feast with meat and fireworks and fudge and a really small drink of wine and other cool stuff and meat. It was cool. Me 'n' Ace would get clothes and stuff too."
"But this is the first Christmas we're gonna spend together," said Usopp. "The whole crew. And it's my first Christmas at sea, as a real pirate. So I think it's going to be real good, even better than the old ones. It's just that..." He sighed, "I'd hoped it would have been even better. Ha-choo!" After the forceful sneeze, he wiped his nose with a low moan. "I just hate this cold," he muttered wearily. "I want to go out and do things but I just get so tired... and it's so boring, just lying here."
They were silent for a while. From the walls around them, the sounds from a busy crew were leaking in: footsteps tramping, voices shouting; something big being hauled around (by Franky?); a trumpet playing a cheery Christmas tune.
Usopp was half dozing off, when Luffy again exclaimed, "Oh! Wait, I know!"
He opened one eye and gave his captain a tired, sceptical look. "What."
Luffy was grinning brightly again. "We can make out! Then you don't have to go outside and get colder and tireder, we can just stay here! And that's always fun!”
Usopp closed his eyes in exasperation. “Luffy,” he groaned. "Not only are you the least romantic person ever" – though actually the thought of a romantic Luffy was rather creepy, come to think – "but you're SUCH. AN. IDIOT." He threw a tray at his captain, it being the only nearby thing available. "That's the one thing we can't do the most! I'd INFECT you, you moron! Honestly, do you ever listen when Chopper talks about stuff like this?"
"Really?" said Luffy, blinking. "Ow, you didn't have to hit me with that!" He rubbed his forehead, pouting now.
"Yes, really!" snapped Usopp, scowling right back. "And then Nami will yell at me, probably! Plus, I’m all sneezy and snotty right now, anyway – so just stop saying such useless things!” He pulled his blankets over his head and rolled over. "I'm going back to sleep," he announced.
Luffy was silent for another moment, then abruptly said, "It's okay, I'll fix it." He got up and tucked Usopp in, then patted him on his blanket-covered shoulder. "I’ll be back, don’t worry, Usopp." Then he left, the door letting in a gust of cold air through the room when he walked through it. Usopp curled up for warmth and drew a sigh that was only half relief; then slowly drifted off again.
**
He felt okay enough to drag himself away to the galley at dinnertime, and he didn't feel as grumpy as before when he sat down and tucked into the food, though he still wasn't as hungry as usual. Being sick was just weird. Maybe he'd complained enough about it by now, though. So he chewed and ate mostly in silence, listening to the rest of the crew as they talked.
The ship really did look pretty nice by now, he thought when he left the galley, intending to go back to the bunk like a good patient. But it was obvious the decoration had been rather impulsive and haphazard here and there. A keen design sense could have done better, Usopp was sure. But maybe Luffy was right. He’d be better at New Year's, if Chopper's prognosis held true, and could make up for it then.
Then he sighed, shoving his hands into his pocket and feeling down again, as he looked out over the gray waves. He shivered, pulling his woolly scarf tighter. On the spur of the moment, he decided to go down to the workshop again. He did feel slightly stronger now, so maybe he could try to finish one of the gifts after all. The shelf he was making for Robin only had a few polishes left.
About an hour later, he was slowly but steadily working on the small wooden box he was planning for Nami, sand-papering the final side. Usopp felt both satisfied and melancholic. He'd made some progress, if not much; but he was also starting to feel embarrassed about making so much fuss about having a cold. It was true that Luffy and Sanji didn't know what it was like. But Nami had had a disease that nearly killed her and she hadn't complained at all from what he could remember. In fact, she'd tried to pretend she was just fine.
Mom had never complained much, either... His hands slowed down at the inescapable thought, then stopped working altogether. But... maybe people were just more prone to whine more when it wasn't so serious? Or maybe it was just because different people behaved differently. Some were just stronger.
Right then the door to the workshop flew open, and... something tumbled in. Usopp blinked, then stared. Then gaped.
"USOPP! Look what I've got!" yelled the creature in Luffy's voice. "Great idea, huh?"
"What... but... what on earth is that?" yelped Usopp, pointing at Luffy's outfit.
Luffy had about six layers of clothing on, from what Usopp could see. Only his sandalled feet were peeking out like normal on the bottom. Over that was what looked like Brook's most tattered trousers over one of Usopp's spare overalls over an elegant pair that was probably Sanji's. On the top half, Luffy seemed a virtual half-cocoon, half insanely constructed robot, wearing sweater upon sweater and two sheets of metal on his chest and back, and tied to him with an abundance of strings including festive red ribbons, some glitter, and – was that mistletoe? His head was covered by a red Christmas cap with an incongruent saucepan on top of it, the strawhat temporarily removed. And he'd tied a yellow bandanna over his face, bandit-style. The whole thing clanged when he moved.
"Is hroreshon," said Luffy from behind the mask, sweeping out one hand and causing another metallic clang.
"Huh?" said Usopp, puzzled. "I can't hear what you're saying."
Luffy lifted up the mask, "It's protection!" he repeated in a louder voice, eyes shining. "It's so we can kiss without any infection spreading! To cheer you up for Christmas," he added, faced with Usopp's dumbstruck expression.
Usopp just gawked at him for another few long seconds; then his head slowly slumped forward, his shoulders starting to shake. "Bwahahahaha!" He raised his head again, gave Luffy another look – Luffy looked back all wide-eyed and cheerful – and was sent into another paroxysm of laughter, hitting the floor as he guffawed helplessly.
"Eh? What’s so funny?" said Luffy. He squatted down next to Usopp. "It's okay now! It- it’s o- it's okaayyy –" His face screwed up, nose twitching.
And then he sneezed all over the workbench, knocking Usopp back with the force of it.
"...Luffy, what the hell – Luffy?" Usopp scrambled back up, giving Luffy a suspicious look. Wait – he hadn’t left any jars open this time; there were no spicy or smelly ingredients around to tickle Luffy's nose.
Luffy sneezed again, only slightly less violently. "...Heh, that was kinda fun," he commented.
"Turn away first," sighed Usopp, before leaning forward and touching Luffy's forehead for a moment. "That feels pretty hot. Luffy, are you feeling okay? Maybe you're already infected..." He tried not to sound too obviously happy about this. "Then again, you're wearing an awful lot. Idiot," he added fondly.
Luffy coughed several times. "Head's kinda funny," he remarked when he'd stopped, "Feels like it's in a cage, but only the head, nothing else."
Usopp grinned brightly, no forced cheer in it this time. "Hah! So much for Nami's stupid superstition. Sorry, Luffy; I'm pretty sure you've got a cold now."
Luffy blinked. "Really?" He looked rather intrigued by this new development.
Maybe the best thing to do would be to wait for Chopper's opinion, but Usopp had been a good boy for days now – if not always of the sweetest disposition – and he was fed up with keeping a careful distance. He was a pirate after all.
Besides, if he didn't keep Luffy busy who knew what the guy would come up with next.
"Yeah, looks that way," he said. "Thank goodness." He tugged at one of the ribbons around the metal sheet, making it unravel. "...You look like a Christmas present with those things." Luffy only grinned sunnily at that. Usopp sat up straighter, pulling Luffy closer, then bent forward and kissed him tentatively. He held it a little longer than usual. He'd finally found a good angle for the nose so it didn't mash up too much. Luffy's face and lips were warm from fever and mushy from sneezing and the beginnings of a runny nose: Usopp felt him kissing back, Luffy's own arms tightening around Usopp's back. It was all so messy and silly and nice.
The saucepan was clinking; the metal sheet on front was severely uncomfortable to be pressed up against. Usopp broke the kiss and leaned back on Luffy's arms. "Eh heh heh," he said, laughing embarrassedly. "That was kinda what I wanted for Christmas. Uh. Right now, I mean." He tugged at another of the strings around the metal. "Luffy, take these off for god’s sake. You're already affected so it doesn't matter, right?"
Luffy removed his saucepan and leaned back, palms to the floor behind him. "Right," he said easily, nodding. "You take them off. I've got a cold!" He looked damn near excited, Usopp thought, then hesitated for a moment. Had that been a mocking tone in Luffy's voice, actually, making fun of Usopp's earlier behaviour? Sometimes Luffy could be way more subtle than you'd think...
...Well, it didn’t really matter. Usopp could accept that he’d deserve that, anyway. "You're such an idiot," he mumbled. The sheets came off; so did the surplus sweaters and extra pairs of trousers. The next moment, it was Luffy who pulled Usopp down on the floor where the blankets were.
"See?" mumbled Luffy after taking his own kiss from Usopp – an even messier one than the first kiss, but quite enthusiastic – “this way is more fun, right?”
"Uh-huh," mumbled Usopp, kissing him on the ear. "You smell funny when you’re all sick, though."
"You too," said Luffy. Then for no reason at all they both started laughing, until Luffy cut if off by yawning mightily.
"Uh. I'm getting. Sleepy," he observed.
Usopp yawned as well. "We should probably take it easy," he said wisely. "I know it's a pain, but the more we rest now, the bigger chance we'll be okay with the big party on Christmas day." Which was only two days from now.
"Yah, it will be all right," said Luffy with reflexive confidence, then yawned again and leaned his head on Usopp’s shoulder.
Usopp felt pretty drowsy himself. As Luffy's snores started to fill the air, he moved the blankets around a little, then curled up against Luffy for maximum comfort and warmth, bringing some of the extra clothes around as well. "In a way I hope I don't get well too soon," he mumbled, knowing Luffy couldn’t hear him. "So I won't feel too guilty about this. Right now I don't because I'm sick, but maybe later..." Hopefully Luffy would soon snap out of the cold, though. He was made of rubber; he always bounced back. It was what he did.
And if you don't, I'll lie it so you do, anyway, he thought, sleep pulling at his eyelids already. I'll lie until it becomes true. 'Cause that's what I do. Right?
He pulled the thickest blanket closer over them both.
--the end--
Christmas present for
doewiebele! From the second prompt, “Usopp is sick during X-max; Luffy tries to cheer him up”. I’m not sure why this wounded up so long, but brevity is often hard for me. Hope you have the patience to read through it! Concrit would be great, as always.
Title: Holiday Germs
Rating: mild PG
Media: fic
Background pairings: none
Summary: see prompt above. Also, Usopp is grumpy (and the writer is long-winded).
Spoilers/setting: Set anytime after Thriller Bark.
Merry Christmas!
"And here I always heard idiots can't catch colds," mused Nami, taking her hand away from Usopp's forehead. "Looks like I was wrong, though."
"...Hey!” protested Usopp. "That's not funny at all! I'm suffering here!" He sneezed noisily, wiped his nose on his sash, and then blinked. "A cold? That's what I've got?"
Nami shrugged. "Sure what it looks like to me. You cough and you sneeze, you definitely have a fever, you're dizzy, you said your head felt thick... thicker than usual, I mean." She grinned. "Chopper will probably say the same once he gets down." The doctor was taking the watch up in the crow's nest right now, so Nami was filling in.
"Huh. A cold," said Usopp thoughtfully. "Never had one of those before."
"Well, maybe it means you're growing smarter," said Nami, getting up and walking away from where they'd been sitting by Usopp's branch office on the third deck.
"...Wait!" Usopp burst out, ignoring her remark. "Isn't that the kind of thing that looks all harmless and then suddenly you drop dead?"
"Where did you hear that? No. It's the kind of thing where you feel bad for a while and have to take it easy, and then you get better." Nami's head peeped out from the tangerine trees. "Unless you develop pneumonia, I guess. But that's what we've got Chopper for, so he can stop it."
"Pn-pneumonia?!" Usopp squeaked, then abruptly slumped, head hang low. "I bet that's what I got," he muttered. "I feel really weird, you know..."
"No wonder, if you're serious about never being sick before," said Nami. "Except for all those I'll die-if-I-have-to-do-this-or-that-diseases, of course." She strolled back, holding one single tangerine in her hand, then tossed it to Usopp. "Here. It's good for this kind of thing."
"Oh!" Usopp's eyes widened. "Thanks!!" But he didn’t start peeling the fruit right away as he normally would have, before Nami could change her mind or Luffy pop up from nowhere and steal it. He put it away in his bag instead. Nami frowned but chose not to comment.
"I guess you must have got it from someone at the last island," she said instead.
"Eh? I dunno, I didn’t think about it... People cough and sneeze all the time, you know, it's not like you can just duck and hide from someone just because of that," babbled Usopp, looking like he was regretting not having done precisely that.
Nami put her head to the side critically, giving Usopp another look from tip to toe. "You know, you're really looking pretty pale. You should probably go to bed."
"But I don’t wanna," whined Usopp. "It's only four days till Christmas! We were going to start decorating... and do some Christmas fishing... and finish Christmas presents... and play Christmas pranks..."
She gave another shrug. "Well, then don't. I'm just saying it might be a good idea, if you want to get better faster. I don't think you have to, though. Like I said, it doesn't look serious."
"Easy for you to say," huffed Usopp. "It might be really serious for all you know. Uh." He stood still for a moment with a hesitant look. "Well, then... I'm going down to get decorations and... you know..." he waved vaguely, then started to walk towards the ladder. Before reaching it, he stumbled and had to clutch the railing not to fall. "Um..."
"Bunk," stated Nami firmly. "You don't have the energy for that stuff now, anyway."
"...maybe I should take a nap for just a bit," mumbled Usopp, as Nami gently pushed him towards the ladder, then started to climb down before him so she could catch him if he fell. Luckily for Usopp's wallet, perhaps, he managed to make it to the ground.
During the next few days, Usopp mostly holed up in his bunk except for mealtimes, and even those he slept away some of them. He just wasn't very hungry. Sporadically he'd make efforts to go out on deck – especially after they got huge amounts of snow – or down to his workshop. But instead of feeling invigorated and cheerful by the snow, he just wound up tired after making one single snow lantern, the cold making him shiver. By the time Chopper started to frown and make disapproving hums, Usopp was already more than ready to call it quits and go inside.
He tried going to the workshop, bringing blankets to guard against the cold. But his hands felt so weary and awkward, his thoughts sluggish and kind of walled-in. All the neat ideas he'd seemed to have for Christmas gifts fell to the ground like birds that had been shot, stupid and useless. It just felt pointless. He shoved all the half-finished things away from the work-bench impatiently, then sighed and got up with a groan, going to the galley to warm up and sulk for a while.
It was warm enough in the galley, and Sanji didn't really seem to mind him being there, though he did make some snarky comments about people who were whining way too much about a simple cold. As if he'd ever been sick. He made sure Usopp had something warm to drink, but got way too annoyed and fussy by coughing and sneezing anywhere close to food. And again, Usopp still felt tired and got sleepy all the time. So, back to the bunk it was.
*
Luffy was also disappointed that Usopp couldn't take part of Christmas preparations. They would have had so much fun putting everything up all over the place, sneaking goodies from the kitchen and making up silly Christmas games. And the thought that Usopp might not even be able to take part of the Christmas party itself was so sad it was just dumb.
Nevertheless, he still had enough enthusiasm for two, especially since Chopper, Brook and Franky were quite willing to help out. Some Yuletide traditions everyone knew about, but most of them were different from island to island. Luffy happily took up those he thought sounded cool, sometimes getting them wrong; and wasted no time in imparting Christmas wisdom to those in the crew who seemed to need it. (Robin had never really celebrated Christmas; Chopper had never done so with a group of people; Brook hadn't celebrated with a group of living people for a very long time; and so on.)
But with all of that going on, Luffy also made sure to run into the boys' cabin every so often. Clearly, Usopp needed cheering up! So his captain would plop himself down on the bunk opposite and tell him everything that was going on outside on deck and everywhere else.
"Man, you shoulda seen Brook getting all tangled up in ribbons and glitter!” he said, laughing.
"Uh. That sounds cool," muttered Usopp, his foot twitching. Then he started coughing.
Another time, Luffy reported, "I was going to make a snow fortress but there wasn't enough snow, so we used it all for snowballs instead – me and Franky nearly won against Brook and Chopper and Sanji!"
Usopp sighed wistfully. "I wanted to be in a snowball fight too..." he mumbled.
And yet another time, Luffy burst in: "Oh, oh, oh! Usopp, you gotta come up and see what we did on third deck. Only hurry 'cause I'm not sure Nami's gonna like what we did to the tangerine trees, come seeee!"
That time Usopp did let himself get coaxed outside, sneezing all the way – and he grinned wide when he saw third deck, but he still also sighed a lot and soon went back down. Usopp just wasn't as fun as usual like this. Even when Luffy told him how Sanji and Brook had ended up kissing each other though none of them wanted to – it was some mix-up between two different traditions or something; Luffy was quite vague on how it had happened – and the looks on their faces right then – even when he said all that, Usopp didn't start guffawing like he usually would.
Instead he groaned, "Gaaah! That's too funny! Why couldn't I have been there to see that?" And he rolled over in his bed, all put out and sulky.
In fact, Usopp had discovered the special kind of self-centred grumpiness that sometimes comes with a head cold, when people know they're being selfish and unfair but not giving a damn about it, because they have a cold and feel all walled off and miserable. This particular state can contain a certain contrarian pleasure, even.
Luffy didn't know all that, but he did know that Usopp wasn't like he used to be at all, and that made him frown and pout, too. But he didn't give up – he kept popping in on the suffering sniper, often dragging small bits of Christmas with him, from snow to glitter to mysterious bits of machinery that he'd nicked from Franky.
The thing Usopp complained most about was the Christmas presents. "I'll never be able to finish them now!" he wailed. "Not even one of them! And if I did finish one I still wouldn't want to give it away now because it would be unfair to the rest! Now everyone's going to think I'm the kind of guy who just forgets his friends!"
"But everyone knows you're all sick now," Luffy pointed out, scratching his head. "And if theyve forgotten, I can always remind them! We could put up a banner about it," he mused.
"That would just be silly," said Usopp. "All right, I guess they know that. It still sucks, though." He crossed his arms and scowled.
"Wait, I know!" Luffy straightened up, smacking his fist into his palm. "I remembered Zoro told me that back where he grew up, they didn't celebrate Christmas at all!"
"Really?” said Usopp, blinking. “How awful."
"He said they gave each other presents on New Year's Day instead. So you could give us Zoro's-island-presents then!"
"...I dunno. Maybe. It's still not the same," muttered Usopp.
"Huuuh." Luffy crossed his arms too, tilting his head way to the side as he looked at Usopp. Then he stretched one arm and reached out to grab Usopp's nose, shaking it and his head up and down.
"Hey!! Stop that, idiot!" Usopp reached up and pulled Luffy's hand away. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" He glared at Luffy, his face red with anger as well as fever. "Don't do that, I'm sick!"
Luffy's arm snapped back. "I was trying to see if I could shake off some Stupid Germs from you," he explained. "'Cause that cold is making you dumber. Nee-ner!" He pulled at his mouth and stretched out his tongue.
Usopp grimaced back. "That's not how it works, and you're the one who's being dumber!" he shot back, though somehow he had a feeling Luffy had a point. He sank back on his mountain of pillows. "Anyway," he said more peacefully, "Nami would say it was the other way around."
Luffy sat back again, putting his hands behind his head. "I don"t think presents matter much, anyway," he said. "It’s way more important we have a big party with enough to eat, and Sanji says we will! And music and drink and dancing and all that." He smiled widely at the thought.
"I guess," sighed Usopp. "It's just that..." He looked off into the air, as if seeing something very far away. "I remember back in the village, everyone got together in the inn on Christmas night. And there'd be food and music and grown-ups dressing up and being silly... and all of us kids got presents, at least one each. From a big pile in front of the fire. Some of the grown-ups exchanged gifts with each other, but not all of them. But all the kids got presents. And that was neat. It was fun running around in the crowd and hiding under tables too! Easy to play tricks on people, that way."
He chuckled at the memory, then added, "When I got older I'd also make presents and leave them around where people could find them – some of them were just jokes but some were for real! That was fun, too."
"Oh," said Luffy, shrugging. "We just had a big party wherever we were," he said after a moment, picking his nose thoughtfully. "Up in the mountains or down in the village or in the jungle or wherever, even when we were really supposed to train–" he made a face at that –"we always had a big Christmas feast with meat and fireworks and fudge and a really small drink of wine and other cool stuff and meat. It was cool. Me 'n' Ace would get clothes and stuff too."
"But this is the first Christmas we're gonna spend together," said Usopp. "The whole crew. And it's my first Christmas at sea, as a real pirate. So I think it's going to be real good, even better than the old ones. It's just that..." He sighed, "I'd hoped it would have been even better. Ha-choo!" After the forceful sneeze, he wiped his nose with a low moan. "I just hate this cold," he muttered wearily. "I want to go out and do things but I just get so tired... and it's so boring, just lying here."
They were silent for a while. From the walls around them, the sounds from a busy crew were leaking in: footsteps tramping, voices shouting; something big being hauled around (by Franky?); a trumpet playing a cheery Christmas tune.
Usopp was half dozing off, when Luffy again exclaimed, "Oh! Wait, I know!"
He opened one eye and gave his captain a tired, sceptical look. "What."
Luffy was grinning brightly again. "We can make out! Then you don't have to go outside and get colder and tireder, we can just stay here! And that's always fun!”
Usopp closed his eyes in exasperation. “Luffy,” he groaned. "Not only are you the least romantic person ever" – though actually the thought of a romantic Luffy was rather creepy, come to think – "but you're SUCH. AN. IDIOT." He threw a tray at his captain, it being the only nearby thing available. "That's the one thing we can't do the most! I'd INFECT you, you moron! Honestly, do you ever listen when Chopper talks about stuff like this?"
"Really?" said Luffy, blinking. "Ow, you didn't have to hit me with that!" He rubbed his forehead, pouting now.
"Yes, really!" snapped Usopp, scowling right back. "And then Nami will yell at me, probably! Plus, I’m all sneezy and snotty right now, anyway – so just stop saying such useless things!” He pulled his blankets over his head and rolled over. "I'm going back to sleep," he announced.
Luffy was silent for another moment, then abruptly said, "It's okay, I'll fix it." He got up and tucked Usopp in, then patted him on his blanket-covered shoulder. "I’ll be back, don’t worry, Usopp." Then he left, the door letting in a gust of cold air through the room when he walked through it. Usopp curled up for warmth and drew a sigh that was only half relief; then slowly drifted off again.
**
He felt okay enough to drag himself away to the galley at dinnertime, and he didn't feel as grumpy as before when he sat down and tucked into the food, though he still wasn't as hungry as usual. Being sick was just weird. Maybe he'd complained enough about it by now, though. So he chewed and ate mostly in silence, listening to the rest of the crew as they talked.
The ship really did look pretty nice by now, he thought when he left the galley, intending to go back to the bunk like a good patient. But it was obvious the decoration had been rather impulsive and haphazard here and there. A keen design sense could have done better, Usopp was sure. But maybe Luffy was right. He’d be better at New Year's, if Chopper's prognosis held true, and could make up for it then.
Then he sighed, shoving his hands into his pocket and feeling down again, as he looked out over the gray waves. He shivered, pulling his woolly scarf tighter. On the spur of the moment, he decided to go down to the workshop again. He did feel slightly stronger now, so maybe he could try to finish one of the gifts after all. The shelf he was making for Robin only had a few polishes left.
About an hour later, he was slowly but steadily working on the small wooden box he was planning for Nami, sand-papering the final side. Usopp felt both satisfied and melancholic. He'd made some progress, if not much; but he was also starting to feel embarrassed about making so much fuss about having a cold. It was true that Luffy and Sanji didn't know what it was like. But Nami had had a disease that nearly killed her and she hadn't complained at all from what he could remember. In fact, she'd tried to pretend she was just fine.
Mom had never complained much, either... His hands slowed down at the inescapable thought, then stopped working altogether. But... maybe people were just more prone to whine more when it wasn't so serious? Or maybe it was just because different people behaved differently. Some were just stronger.
Right then the door to the workshop flew open, and... something tumbled in. Usopp blinked, then stared. Then gaped.
"USOPP! Look what I've got!" yelled the creature in Luffy's voice. "Great idea, huh?"
"What... but... what on earth is that?" yelped Usopp, pointing at Luffy's outfit.
Luffy had about six layers of clothing on, from what Usopp could see. Only his sandalled feet were peeking out like normal on the bottom. Over that was what looked like Brook's most tattered trousers over one of Usopp's spare overalls over an elegant pair that was probably Sanji's. On the top half, Luffy seemed a virtual half-cocoon, half insanely constructed robot, wearing sweater upon sweater and two sheets of metal on his chest and back, and tied to him with an abundance of strings including festive red ribbons, some glitter, and – was that mistletoe? His head was covered by a red Christmas cap with an incongruent saucepan on top of it, the strawhat temporarily removed. And he'd tied a yellow bandanna over his face, bandit-style. The whole thing clanged when he moved.
"Is hroreshon," said Luffy from behind the mask, sweeping out one hand and causing another metallic clang.
"Huh?" said Usopp, puzzled. "I can't hear what you're saying."
Luffy lifted up the mask, "It's protection!" he repeated in a louder voice, eyes shining. "It's so we can kiss without any infection spreading! To cheer you up for Christmas," he added, faced with Usopp's dumbstruck expression.
Usopp just gawked at him for another few long seconds; then his head slowly slumped forward, his shoulders starting to shake. "Bwahahahaha!" He raised his head again, gave Luffy another look – Luffy looked back all wide-eyed and cheerful – and was sent into another paroxysm of laughter, hitting the floor as he guffawed helplessly.
"Eh? What’s so funny?" said Luffy. He squatted down next to Usopp. "It's okay now! It- it’s o- it's okaayyy –" His face screwed up, nose twitching.
And then he sneezed all over the workbench, knocking Usopp back with the force of it.
"...Luffy, what the hell – Luffy?" Usopp scrambled back up, giving Luffy a suspicious look. Wait – he hadn’t left any jars open this time; there were no spicy or smelly ingredients around to tickle Luffy's nose.
Luffy sneezed again, only slightly less violently. "...Heh, that was kinda fun," he commented.
"Turn away first," sighed Usopp, before leaning forward and touching Luffy's forehead for a moment. "That feels pretty hot. Luffy, are you feeling okay? Maybe you're already infected..." He tried not to sound too obviously happy about this. "Then again, you're wearing an awful lot. Idiot," he added fondly.
Luffy coughed several times. "Head's kinda funny," he remarked when he'd stopped, "Feels like it's in a cage, but only the head, nothing else."
Usopp grinned brightly, no forced cheer in it this time. "Hah! So much for Nami's stupid superstition. Sorry, Luffy; I'm pretty sure you've got a cold now."
Luffy blinked. "Really?" He looked rather intrigued by this new development.
Maybe the best thing to do would be to wait for Chopper's opinion, but Usopp had been a good boy for days now – if not always of the sweetest disposition – and he was fed up with keeping a careful distance. He was a pirate after all.
Besides, if he didn't keep Luffy busy who knew what the guy would come up with next.
"Yeah, looks that way," he said. "Thank goodness." He tugged at one of the ribbons around the metal sheet, making it unravel. "...You look like a Christmas present with those things." Luffy only grinned sunnily at that. Usopp sat up straighter, pulling Luffy closer, then bent forward and kissed him tentatively. He held it a little longer than usual. He'd finally found a good angle for the nose so it didn't mash up too much. Luffy's face and lips were warm from fever and mushy from sneezing and the beginnings of a runny nose: Usopp felt him kissing back, Luffy's own arms tightening around Usopp's back. It was all so messy and silly and nice.
The saucepan was clinking; the metal sheet on front was severely uncomfortable to be pressed up against. Usopp broke the kiss and leaned back on Luffy's arms. "Eh heh heh," he said, laughing embarrassedly. "That was kinda what I wanted for Christmas. Uh. Right now, I mean." He tugged at another of the strings around the metal. "Luffy, take these off for god’s sake. You're already affected so it doesn't matter, right?"
Luffy removed his saucepan and leaned back, palms to the floor behind him. "Right," he said easily, nodding. "You take them off. I've got a cold!" He looked damn near excited, Usopp thought, then hesitated for a moment. Had that been a mocking tone in Luffy's voice, actually, making fun of Usopp's earlier behaviour? Sometimes Luffy could be way more subtle than you'd think...
...Well, it didn’t really matter. Usopp could accept that he’d deserve that, anyway. "You're such an idiot," he mumbled. The sheets came off; so did the surplus sweaters and extra pairs of trousers. The next moment, it was Luffy who pulled Usopp down on the floor where the blankets were.
"See?" mumbled Luffy after taking his own kiss from Usopp – an even messier one than the first kiss, but quite enthusiastic – “this way is more fun, right?”
"Uh-huh," mumbled Usopp, kissing him on the ear. "You smell funny when you’re all sick, though."
"You too," said Luffy. Then for no reason at all they both started laughing, until Luffy cut if off by yawning mightily.
"Uh. I'm getting. Sleepy," he observed.
Usopp yawned as well. "We should probably take it easy," he said wisely. "I know it's a pain, but the more we rest now, the bigger chance we'll be okay with the big party on Christmas day." Which was only two days from now.
"Yah, it will be all right," said Luffy with reflexive confidence, then yawned again and leaned his head on Usopp’s shoulder.
Usopp felt pretty drowsy himself. As Luffy's snores started to fill the air, he moved the blankets around a little, then curled up against Luffy for maximum comfort and warmth, bringing some of the extra clothes around as well. "In a way I hope I don't get well too soon," he mumbled, knowing Luffy couldn’t hear him. "So I won't feel too guilty about this. Right now I don't because I'm sick, but maybe later..." Hopefully Luffy would soon snap out of the cold, though. He was made of rubber; he always bounced back. It was what he did.
And if you don't, I'll lie it so you do, anyway, he thought, sleep pulling at his eyelids already. I'll lie until it becomes true. 'Cause that's what I do. Right?
He pulled the thickest blanket closer over them both.
--the end--