Quiet Walk, extra
Feb. 21st, 2008 12:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rainsometimesI've written a kind of unofficial extra to the finished story "A Quiet Walk in the Noonday Heat". It's less than a "real", official epilogue since I'm not quite sure if it happened or not, but still more than an omake. Or, in other words, the author can't make up her mind. For that reason I'm posting it here only.
Eventually, there was quiet.
Piles of rubble, torn-down rocks, gaping holes in the ground and far too many torn scraps and broken pieces of all kinds of material imaginable in a good-sized town filled the view from one end of the horizon to another. There wasn’t a single house left standing, and very few patches of pavement left intact. From what you could see, you'd be hard pressed to call it a town anymore. It seemed to be nothing but a collection of ruins.
A tiny black flying thing appeared in the air above one particular pile of rubble. At first sight one might have taken it for a soot-flake, but then it flapped its wings vigorously and started to call out loudly and frantically.
“HEEEY!” The small black thing swerved to and fro over the rubble, looking this way and that. “U-BIIRD!! N-BIIRD!! GUUUUUYS!!!” He swooped low, then flew high again, scooting over to another pile, close by. “ARE YOU THEEERE? HEY, GUYS!!”
There was a rustle of gravel, and then the tip of an orange-and-black wing became visible under some broken gutters.
“Stop shouting…” a voice said weakly.
Another voice croaked, nearby, “Leave me alone, I don’t even exist anymore... and anyway I’ve got a headache.” A few black feathers flapped from the midst of a bundle of torn and dirty curtains, in a fairly lackluster fashion.
“Me too,” moaned the orange bird.
L-bird landed right next to them, on top of a broken ornamental china dog. “There you are!” he said, smiling sunnily. “You should have said so earlier!”
Moans, groans and grunts met him, as his two friend slowly hauled themselves upright and freed themselves from the rubble.
Then they were sitting in quiet for a few moments, looking at the scene around them. N-bird was attempting to clean her feathers.
“This is incredible,” said U-bird, sounding close to dumbstruck. “Everything is broken.”
“What a guy, huh?” remarked N-bird. “He strolls into town and a few hours later the whole bleeding place is completely smashed up.”
“Well... it’s no skin off my beak, I guess,” said U-bird. “I’m not from around here.”
“But how come we’re still alive?” said N-bird wondrously. “If he really woke up... How come we’re still here?”
U-bird shook his head, looking stumped. “I don’t get it either,” he said. “What do you think happened, L-bird? Did you see anything?”
“Yeah, at first I didn’t know if I was alive or not,” said L-bird brightly. “So I thought, ‘I’d better imagine I’m alive’, and then I was! And then I went looking for you guys, and I imagined you were alive too, and you were!” He grinned a blinding smile. “Hee hee hee! I’m getting really good at this!”
N-bird gave up trying to smooth her feathers down and flew up to perch on a huge block of marble. “Well,” she said thoughtfully, “I think we’re alive because Mr. Swordsman – Lolonoa Zoro – really doesn’t want us to vanish into nothing. Even if we’re only imaginary to him. Because he wants us to be strong enough to make it on our own. That’s what I think.”
“Either way... what do we do now?” said U-bird practically. “Where can we go?”
L-bird’s eyes were shining, not in that hugely bright way they did when he saw something really cool but in a more low-key, yet still glittering way. “We can go wherever we want,” he said. “And we can do whatever we want, too!”
“And be whoever we want…?” wondered U-bird.
“Sure! But right now, I’m hungry! Let’s go find S-bird!”
“S-bird?” N-bird looked confused. “But... he isn’t…”
“…Oh! I get it!” U-bird exclaimed, his eyes widening. “So we just have to imagine S-bird and then he’ll be here, right? All right, I can do this! Leave it to me!” He closed his eyes in concentration.
N-bird looked from one black bird to the other. “Do you two really think that’s something we can do? That it’s going to work?” Cautious scepticism mingled with a growing hope and enthusiasm in her eyes.
“Uh-huh!” asserted L-bird, nodding happily.
U-bird opened his eyes. “Okay, got it! Let’s go find a pond!”
“A pond? Okay!” said L-bird, flying up into the air.
“Wait a minute…” said N-bird, not following this.
U-bird left the ground as well. “I figure S-bird’s got to be a duck of some kind,” he explained, beating his wings impatiently as he looked down on N-bird.
“A DUCK?! How’s that?”
“I dunno... it just seems to fit, y’know?”
“Right,” said L-bird, nodding. “Come on, N-bird! Help us find the pond!”
“You two, I swear…” grumbled N-bird, taking to the air as well. “Well, let’s at least make him into a wild duck, so he’ll be able to fly…”
The wind shifted, bringing with it the salty tang of the sea, just as Zoro’s three little birds flew high up into the sunlight to leave the city of rubble behind. They made for the great unknown beyond it, on the quest for a duck pond they were certain they would find somewhere out there.
The stonemasons and carpenters, bellfounders and clockmakers together had the clocktower up and running again only two weeks later. And once the clocktower was back, the city could slowly begin to form itself anew around it. Waiting for the next errant dreamer to wander in and give their place some meaning.
Maybe.
Eventually, there was quiet.
Piles of rubble, torn-down rocks, gaping holes in the ground and far too many torn scraps and broken pieces of all kinds of material imaginable in a good-sized town filled the view from one end of the horizon to another. There wasn’t a single house left standing, and very few patches of pavement left intact. From what you could see, you'd be hard pressed to call it a town anymore. It seemed to be nothing but a collection of ruins.
A tiny black flying thing appeared in the air above one particular pile of rubble. At first sight one might have taken it for a soot-flake, but then it flapped its wings vigorously and started to call out loudly and frantically.
“HEEEY!” The small black thing swerved to and fro over the rubble, looking this way and that. “U-BIIRD!! N-BIIRD!! GUUUUUYS!!!” He swooped low, then flew high again, scooting over to another pile, close by. “ARE YOU THEEERE? HEY, GUYS!!”
There was a rustle of gravel, and then the tip of an orange-and-black wing became visible under some broken gutters.
“Stop shouting…” a voice said weakly.
Another voice croaked, nearby, “Leave me alone, I don’t even exist anymore... and anyway I’ve got a headache.” A few black feathers flapped from the midst of a bundle of torn and dirty curtains, in a fairly lackluster fashion.
“Me too,” moaned the orange bird.
L-bird landed right next to them, on top of a broken ornamental china dog. “There you are!” he said, smiling sunnily. “You should have said so earlier!”
Moans, groans and grunts met him, as his two friend slowly hauled themselves upright and freed themselves from the rubble.
Then they were sitting in quiet for a few moments, looking at the scene around them. N-bird was attempting to clean her feathers.
“This is incredible,” said U-bird, sounding close to dumbstruck. “Everything is broken.”
“What a guy, huh?” remarked N-bird. “He strolls into town and a few hours later the whole bleeding place is completely smashed up.”
“Well... it’s no skin off my beak, I guess,” said U-bird. “I’m not from around here.”
“But how come we’re still alive?” said N-bird wondrously. “If he really woke up... How come we’re still here?”
U-bird shook his head, looking stumped. “I don’t get it either,” he said. “What do you think happened, L-bird? Did you see anything?”
“Yeah, at first I didn’t know if I was alive or not,” said L-bird brightly. “So I thought, ‘I’d better imagine I’m alive’, and then I was! And then I went looking for you guys, and I imagined you were alive too, and you were!” He grinned a blinding smile. “Hee hee hee! I’m getting really good at this!”
N-bird gave up trying to smooth her feathers down and flew up to perch on a huge block of marble. “Well,” she said thoughtfully, “I think we’re alive because Mr. Swordsman – Lolonoa Zoro – really doesn’t want us to vanish into nothing. Even if we’re only imaginary to him. Because he wants us to be strong enough to make it on our own. That’s what I think.”
“Either way... what do we do now?” said U-bird practically. “Where can we go?”
L-bird’s eyes were shining, not in that hugely bright way they did when he saw something really cool but in a more low-key, yet still glittering way. “We can go wherever we want,” he said. “And we can do whatever we want, too!”
“And be whoever we want…?” wondered U-bird.
“Sure! But right now, I’m hungry! Let’s go find S-bird!”
“S-bird?” N-bird looked confused. “But... he isn’t…”
“…Oh! I get it!” U-bird exclaimed, his eyes widening. “So we just have to imagine S-bird and then he’ll be here, right? All right, I can do this! Leave it to me!” He closed his eyes in concentration.
N-bird looked from one black bird to the other. “Do you two really think that’s something we can do? That it’s going to work?” Cautious scepticism mingled with a growing hope and enthusiasm in her eyes.
“Uh-huh!” asserted L-bird, nodding happily.
U-bird opened his eyes. “Okay, got it! Let’s go find a pond!”
“A pond? Okay!” said L-bird, flying up into the air.
“Wait a minute…” said N-bird, not following this.
U-bird left the ground as well. “I figure S-bird’s got to be a duck of some kind,” he explained, beating his wings impatiently as he looked down on N-bird.
“A DUCK?! How’s that?”
“I dunno... it just seems to fit, y’know?”
“Right,” said L-bird, nodding. “Come on, N-bird! Help us find the pond!”
“You two, I swear…” grumbled N-bird, taking to the air as well. “Well, let’s at least make him into a wild duck, so he’ll be able to fly…”
The wind shifted, bringing with it the salty tang of the sea, just as Zoro’s three little birds flew high up into the sunlight to leave the city of rubble behind. They made for the great unknown beyond it, on the quest for a duck pond they were certain they would find somewhere out there.
The stonemasons and carpenters, bellfounders and clockmakers together had the clocktower up and running again only two weeks later. And once the clocktower was back, the city could slowly begin to form itself anew around it. Waiting for the next errant dreamer to wander in and give their place some meaning.
Maybe.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-02-21 06:43 pm (UTC)The birds being okay and going off to find a Sanji bird is wonderful.
no subject
Date: 2008-02-22 10:27 am (UTC)I hope this is what happened, but I'm still not really sure it did. I never did set up strong logical rules about how the dreamworld actually worked - just by playing it by ear - and so in the end I'm a bit unsure what happened there when Zoro woke up. But it just seems to me that the birds wouldn't stand for being eradicated. ;)
no subject
Date: 2008-09-01 02:03 am (UTC)I got kinda heart-clenchy when I realized the dream-birds were still there. This just makes me so happy and makes the whole entire thing even more satisfying, somehow.
Maybe Zoro still dreams where they can cross his path again. That makes me happy to imagine. And he can meet S-bird (S-duck? Hee!) and probably get his fingers bitten or something.
And something I should have said before. The first time you start calling them L-bird, N-bird, U-bird, I was kinda skeptical, but that went away almost instantly. It's still sort of a weird naming convention if I take a step back, but I forgot that while I read.
My one crit here, and sort of not really, actually, is your use of second-person address in At first sight you’d have taken it for a soot-flake, since all up to now it was Zoro's POV... but on the other hand it's not, now, you know? It's not anyone's. So maybe it's mine, after all, eh?
:D
no subject
Date: 2008-09-01 02:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-01 04:28 pm (UTC)Yes! That would be neat. ;) While I've thought before that a Sanji-bird would be unfair to him and Zoro, it has occurred to me just now that actually that could probably work too, if Zoro were to have a subconscious need for a small bird to harp on him and call him a shithead to set him straight on something. This wasn't quite the case here, however.
Also I think if the birds do manage to get more independent from their origin in Zoro's mind, as the extra implies, they will eventually feel a need for a Z-bird as well. ;)
And something I should have said before. The first time you start calling them L-bird, N-bird, U-bird, I was kinda skeptical, but that went away almost instantly. It's still sort of a weird naming convention if I take a step back, but I forgot that while I read.
Yeah, it is pretty weird, isn't it? Not much of an imagination there! I'm glad it didn't bother you while reading. Maybe I should have called them other stuff, like Orangey, Longbeak and... uh... *is stumped by Luffy-bird*
Thanks for the crit! I think I'll change to "one might have taken it".