Fic post: Absence, chapter 7, part one
Jun. 25th, 2010 01:12 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rainsometimesUh. So. Those of you who may remember my ongoing grief-fic might reasonably have wondered if I’ve abandoned it. It’s been... *counts on fingers* er... *cough* ...let’s just say way, way too many months since Chapter 6 was posted. Especially since I claimed back then Chapter 7 probably wouldn’t take so long. >_< I could go on explaining/apologising/excusing myself (there were birthdays and Christmas and other stories to write but chiefly there was that magnificent bastard Oda with his canon angst completely throwing me off ) but there’s little use in it. Anyway. Chapter 7 is finally here.
Some things of note: I’ve changed the name of the story from the working title “Fine” to “Absence”.
I’ve also definitely decided this is a Divergence Fic. Without spoiling anything, this takes place in an AU version where everything up through the end of Impel Down happened the same way, but the Marineford arc ended differently (more details behind the cut – avoid if you’re not up-to-date on the manga).
Also, there was a reference to Blackbeard in the flashback in Chapter 1 which I’ve removed due to power level differences.
This chapter has been betaed by the priceless and indefatigabletonko and ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
wendytigges, to which loads and loads of my gratitude go. Any remaining errors are my responsibility alone. Concrit much welcome and encouraged.
Title: Absence, chapter 7, part 1 (part 2 to be posted now as well)
Previous chapters: Chapter One here, fic tag here; the whole fic on AO3 here.
Chapter 6, the previous chapter, started here, but it’s in three parts.
See the fic's tag for more chapters, like this: https://rainsometimes.dreamwidth.org/tag/fic:+absence
Rating: PG for language and dark themes
Warning For major angst and sadness
Summary: The crew copes with loss. Luffy doesn’t take it well (for more, see the ‘What has gone before’ section right behind the cut).
Characters: Strawhats
Pairing: None
WHAT HAS GONE BEFORE: In a battle where seakings fought alongside Marines against the ambushed Strawhats, Nami witnessed Usopp being killed or lethally wounded by an extremely large and fierce seaking, subsequently slain by Luffy. The Strawhats, in shock and outnumbered, retreated from the island where it happened before they had a chance to find the body.
Ever since waking up after the battle, Luffy seems to have completely forgotten Usopp ever existed, not even reacting to his name when spoken. (He has also forgotten Going Merry in a similar way.) However, as time goes on he has taken on some of Usopp’s traits as his own, and has also become extremely protective of the rest of the crew, to the point where he insists on taking on all the fighting himself. The crew wants Luffy sane again, and decided in council to turn back to the island where the death occurred, hoping both to give Usopp a real funeral and that the return will trigger Luffy’s memories. They kept this decision secret from Luffy for days.
In the last chapter, the crew came upon a tiny remnant of the very Marine force they last faced – now deserters severely down on their luck. After some extremely tense moments, Nami decided to trade with them, among other things giving them the crew’s log pose and instead receiving an Eternal Pose set for the island they’re heading for. When Luffy woke up and confronted Nami about this, she came clear about their current destination. He did not appear to be happy.
ABOUT THE DIVERGENCE:
*spoiler
spoiler
spoiler
spoiler*
This story starts perhaps a few months after the end of Marineford arc, but in this divergent version, Ace survived and while Whitebeard was still killed, Blackbeard didn’t get to eat his fruit. So, there’s still a big change and a new era, but not such a crushing defeat for the Whitebeard pirates and especially not so for Luffy. (It just felt way too cruel to Luffy to build on current canon for a Strawhat death-fic like this.) Enough time has passed for the Strawhats to meet up again, go to Fishman Island, then travel to the New World and have several adventures on different islands there.
DISCLAIMER: The characters and situations of One Piece were created and are owned by Eiichiro Oda. They are used here without permission for entertainment purposes only. This fic is not to be used for profit in any way.
******
Absence chapter 7, part one.
******
Chopper tried to fight the lurching feeling of the ground opening up beneath his feet. He’d known this was coming, right? They all had. He’d wanted to get it over with, too, just like Nami... But it still felt so awful. His throat felt as dry as sandpaper, his hooves clammy. What’s going to happen to us? he wondered.
Nami had met Luffy’s eyes when he asked her the question. But instead of staying that way and answering him right away, she looked around at all of them, maybe checking to see everyone was there. Her gaze lingered on Chopper and Brook – they, like Luffy, were the latecomers here, and she must wonder if they’d been filled in on what was going on. Chopper didn’t know if the brief, whispered words from Franky and Zoro covered everything, but at least he knew who those people on the islet and the low, embattled boat were.
He didn’t want to even look at them. He could understand why it was necessary to make a deal with them, but he didn’t want to be near them – didn’t want to be reminded that those people even existed. And he felt it wasn’t right that they would witness this moment.
But right now, he focused on looking back at Nami as fiercely and seriously as he could, trying to convey to her that yes, he’d been told something about it.
“Sorry, you guys,” said Nami now, still looking at the rest of the crew, not Luffy. “I traded our log pose without asking anyone else, except Sanji. But if you want to, we can still take it back. It’s not too late.”
Chopper shook his head with the others at this. That wouldn’t feel right. “No,” he mumbled, hearing the others mutter things like “Nah”, “You’re the navigator”, and “Deal’s a deal” – that last one from Zoro.
Nami bowed her head with a soft sigh, then took a deep breath and looked back at Luffy. He hadn’t moved his head, nor acknowledged her words to the others in any way. Chopper took two quiet steps to the side so he could see his captain’s face better.
“Nami.” That was all Luffy said, voice even lower and more intent than a minute ago. It was a clear reminder of his question.
“Because,” she said quietly, “we’re not going to that other island anymore. We’re going back. To the last island.” She paused for breath again, then continued, still keeping her voice level and fairly low. “We turned around at sunset two days ago. That’s why we’ve been sailing at night, to follow the stars since we couldn’t use the log pose.”
He blinked, once. Then his eyes redoubled their focus. “No. We’re not.”
“Yes, we are!” she burst out, then said in a lower, more controlled tone, “We are.”
He pulled at his hat. “We’re not. You’re lying. You’re just joking, Nami. But it’s a bad joke, so stop it.”
“It’s no joke.” Her voice was tired and flat again, but now the words spilled out much faster; she was almost babbling. “I turned the ship around two days ago at sunset, when you were sleeping. And that’s why we’ve been sailing at night now, so we could follow the stars, because we couldn’t use the log pose. And we didn’t tell you anything because we knew you wouldn’t understand and would” – here she paused for breath - “would take it badly.”
Again, there was that look of wide-eyed shock and betrayal on Luffy’s face, like a little boy who had suddenly been treated unjustly by someone he trusted utterly. It hurt to see. Chopper winced, hugging his arms to stop them from trembling.
Then his expression changed, something Chopper couldn’t define flashing over Luffy’s features. When it had passed, his eyes were urgent and intent rather than angry, as he took a step forward.
“Nami,” he said, reaching out a hand. Sanji twitched chivalrously; but this time, Luffy merely held her by the wrist in a protective way, “Nami, you can’t. You just can’t go back there.”
Nami flinched, then abruptly looked away, too much pain and compassion in her eyes. She pressed her lips close together. Was she trembling? Chopper wasn’t sure from where he was standing.
“I – I think we have to,” Nami said after some very long seconds. She closed her eyes briefly. “We left something...” Looking up, she took a few more deep breaths, then steadied herself and looked back at Luffy, softly removing his hand from her arm. “There are several reasons. For one thing, Robin... she doesn’t... she doesn’t want the rest of us to, to be in danger because of it, but I know she really does want to go back and read the poneglyph that was there, in that place. It’s part of her dream, you know. It’s important.” She brushed away a strand of hair from her face, then after a few seconds, hurriedly added, “But it wasn’t her idea! It was mine!”
“Nami’s correct,” said Robin. Chopper swerved to look up at her, as she stood right next to him. Her face was pale, her voice bleak. “It’s... that’s something I would like to do... for myself.” Her voice sank down very low, “I know it’s selfish, though.”
“Sorry, Robin,” said Luffy without moving, quiet but determined. “But we can’t go there now. Maybe later, when we’re really strong. When I’m the Pirate King. Then no-one’ll give us any trouble.”
“We can’t wait that long!” said Nami sharply. “We need to get back there now, or – or – I don’t know what will happen, but we just have to!” Her voice had grown frantic now.
Luffy’s face grew grimmer again. “No, we don’t,” he said tightly. “We shouldn’t. It’s a bad place. And you can’t decide that, Nami.”
Chopper clenched his front paws so hard it hurt. It felt wrong that Nami should stand there before Luffy’s quiet-angry face, looking so alone. But the fact that it really was all the rest of them against Luffy in the first place felt even more wrong. Everything about this felt wrong. Even if it was necessary.
“Luffy,” said Zoro in a low voice, stepping up so he stood closer to the two of them, captain and navigator. Crossing his arms, he went on, “Nami’s right. And she didn’t decide this by herself. We all talked it over and agreed. We’re going back.”
Luffy didn’t turn around, but his face twitched briefly, though his expression stayed the same. He kept looking steadily at Nami.
“It- it’s true,” said Chopper in a high voice, forcing himself to speak. “We talked it over, all of us did…”
“Shut up. I don’t care.” Luffy’s voice was low, monotonous. He only raised it slightly as he went on, crossing his arms, “I don’t care who made the decision. But you have to unmake it now. Turn around and go to the next island instead. We can’t go back there. It’s a bad place.”
Nami’s patience and self-control cracked at last. She snapped, “Why do you say it’s a bad place? You’re the one insisting everything was just fine, that we didn’t” – was she going to say lose anyone? wondered Chopper? But whatever it was, she bit down on it and instead went on – “that, that nothing really bad happened! So, so it shouldn’t– you’re not the one to talk!”
That was a really good point, thought Chopper, putting his head to one side, admiring Nami’s arguing skills. And it hadn’t occurred to him at all. Surely this, at least, would reach Luffy, making him pause and doubt himself, maybe even start remembering a tiny bit?
But if so, Luffy didn’t show it. He just looked at his navigator in unresponsive, unimpressed disapproval. “It’s a bad place,” he repeated flatly.
*
At the other side of the thin, rocky islet, close enough to see body language and hear shouting but too far to hear most of the Strawhat discussion, the former Marines were waiting for whatever the outcome might be. Taking their cue from the two leaders, most of them weren’t watching the Strawhats head-on, but kept busy with chores. They’d made a fire and had gathered as much precious rain water as their flasks and ladles could contain. Now people were changing bandages and washing wounds. Those who couldn’t do so for themselves were nursed by their comrades. Many were fishing, though they had little bait. A few early catches had already been put to fry on the rocks next to the fire, though it would be a while before anyone could eat them.
But none of them were talking very much, and when they did, they kept the voices down. And none of them were fools enough to think their leaders ignored what was going on with the Strawhats – they evidently paid as close attention as they could without outright staring.
Doscaballos and Pietro di Villa were acutely aware that their own fate hanged in the balance. Any minute now – no, any second – Strawhat Luffy could decide that old enemies were better dead than alive, and he was strong enough to kill them all without any help.
At least that would be quick, though. It seemed even more likely that the pirate captain would decide to go back on the deal they’d made with Cat Thief Nami, taking back their log pose and fail to go through with trading repair and provisions for information. That would leave them in the same bleak situation as when they came here, only with the pain of hope lost and the return of numb despair.
Then again, it was also quite possible that their former enemy would want to do something even crueller. Strawhat Luffy wasn’t particularly known for that kind of thing, but maybe that just meant he didn’t tend to leave witnesses. He was still a pirate, after all.
And they were powerless to affect the outcome of the pirate argument, too: whatever the deserters could think of to say, the Strawhats wouldn’t appreciate outsiders butting in on their affairs. Even less so former enemies.
All they could do was wait, going for useful tasks just in case they’d be allowed living.
“Looks like Cat Thief isn’t backing down,” remarked Villa quietly, as he whittled the tip of a broken oar-blade into fish-hooks.
Doscaballos bowed his head in assent. He was busy stuffing a pipe with tobacco for the former Captain Fredericks, whose broken arm prevented him from doing it himself.
“But the Strawhat doesn’t seem too happy about that, either,” he pointed out.
“’Course not,” said Villa, only darting a look from the corner of his eye towards the pirates. “It’s his authority that’s threatened.” He frowned in thought. “But you know,” he said in an even lower tone, “it doesn’t look much like a mutiny.”
Captain Fredericks accepted the pipe from Doscaballos with a grateful nod. After taking a puff, he asked just as quietly, “So what does it look like, then?”
Villa didn’t reply right away, finishing up one hook before starting on another. The pirates were being quiet right now, but hardly calm: the air felt full of tension. It was much harder to be and look impassive right now than half an hour ago. Hope would do that to you.
“Like a family quarrel,” he said.
Fredericks exhaled. “Ah.”
Doscaballos leaned back, crossing his arms, looking out towards the empty horizon, the quiet ocean. “Huh. Something to that,” he said. “Only, y’know… if that’s how soft he is, it kinda makes you wonder how these guys have gotten this far.”
“Yeah,” said Villa slowly. “Though… reminds me of some of the stories you hear about Whitebeard. But they might just be bunk.” He shrugged.
Fredericks took his pipe out from his mouth again. “You know,” he murmured, “I’ve tried to put two and two together. I wonder… perhaps our battle with them didn’t turn out quite as one-sided as we thought.”
“Huh.” Doscaballos breathed out. “You mean…”
“Yes.” Fredericks’ voice, still held low, yet felt as sharp as a well-honed sword’s edge, splitting the air.
“And if I’m right… well, if we survive this, I believe a large part of the reason why will be that Strawhat wasn’t awake when they first came upon us,” he murmured.
Villa shot another quick glance towards the pirates.
“Yeah…” he mumbled softly. “Might just be right about that.”
*
Nami supported herself on the Climatact, feeling weary. “I know it’s a bad place, Luffy,” she mumbled, rubbing her temple. “But...” The words slid away from her. Yes, they had good reasons to do this, but... it wasn’t as if Luffy wasn’t right. Even before anything had happened, before the trap was sprung, there had still been something indescribably creepy and unpleasant about that island. She’d been unable to put her finger on it, yet she remembered feeling very uncomfortable with its landscape: the low-leaning trees with leaves more brown than green, the sickly-smelling yellow moss that seemed to be everywhere, the rocks that crumbled when you stepped on them, the awkward-looking, mournfully calling birds... How much worse wouldn’t it be now?
She recalled the way the Marine deserters had talked about the island: how they’d escaped from it in such pitiful condition, determined not to stay there one moment longer. And that was where she was bringing the crew back. Her stomach knotted up again.
At this point, Sanji spoke up.
“Luffy,” he said with apparent calm. “Let’s say we do what you say and turn the ship around again. We take back the log pose from those poor shitty bastards” – he pointed with his thumb in the ex-Marines’ direction – “and sail on to the next island like we were doing before. Like usual. But you know there’ll be danger there, too.” He took a step closer, searching Luffy’s face. Luffy turned his head, his gaze finally letting go of Nami – it was hard for her not to slump in relief - to give Sanji a half-curious, half-blank look back.
“The Grand Line isn’t safe,” Sanji continued, spreading his palms in emphasis. “Are you going to let us fight those dangers, whatever they are – or will you insist on handling it all, like that pirate ship a few days ago?” Pausing to exhale, he then went on, more quietly, “We’re a crew, you know. You can’t do everything yourself.”
Luffy stared at him for a few long moments. Then he burst out, “I just want everyone to be together and have fun! And a captain’s got to protect his crew. …Besides, you guys are all so weird these days.”
Nami swallowed and looked down again, then quickly back up before she could change her mind. “But you can’t...” she said hoarsely, “...you can’t do that all the time, Luffy. You have to let us protect you, too. You have to let us fight.” Stop taking on the duty of fighting all by yourself, she wanted to say. Stop putting the whole burden of grief on us because you won’t see it’s there. Let’s split them up, and share.
Again, Luffy was quiet at first, but he looked blank and uncomprehending now. Then, he just blinked and repeated, “But you guys are so crazy now.” He shrugged. “So I can’t.” He turned his face away, eyes errant and shifty.
Nami jerked her chin up. “Captain.” She was amazed to hear how clear and cold she managed to make her voice sound, as she straightened up even more. It was as if it belonged to someone else. “If you turn the ship around, the rest of us will just turn it back when you look the other way. Or when you fall asleep.” She paused, drawing for breath before continuing. “We talked about overpowering you, but… I don’t think that’s the way to go. Especially since we have an Eternal Pose now. We won’t touch you, but we’ll keep turning back.”
After a moment, she added, reluctantly, “Even if you beat us up.” She didn’t think he would, but maybe if he became really desperate to ‘save’ them… in any case, he needed to know how seriously she took this, and that it wasn’t a violent kind of mutiny. At least not that. But she was sure he’d still see it as a betrayal.
Luffy just looked at her. He didn’t exactly stare and he certainly didn’t glare, only looked at her with round, disbelieving eyes.
It was as if all the air had gone out of him. This same way, Nami remembered, was how he had looked back on her island, as she had tried to convince him that she was just an evil backstabber who wasn’t worth saving.
He had been right, back then, in refusing to believe the apparent facts. Was it any wonder he clung to denial now, too?
An eternity seemed to pass.
“I... I have to,” mumbled Luffy finally, hoarsely. One hand was raised.
Then he stopped, letting the hand fall. The light went away from his eyes.
He turned and looked at all of them, his eyes almost alien with their lightlessness. Robin seemed composed, as usual – less hard and distant than she’d been when they were first confronted with the ex-Marines, but still not showing much emotion. Brook seemed quite calm as well, his posture neat and contained, his skullface unusually immobile and hard to read. Sanji, Franky and Chopper wore grim, tight expressions, all visibly struggling to hold back signs of compassion that would do little good. But Zoro, on the other hand, wasn’t looking very hard-faced any more. He looked... fairly open, to Nami’s eyes. As if trying very hard to tell Luffy, without words, Get this. I know you can.
Luffy turned back, his eyes meeting hers briefly, but it felt as if he didn’t really see her. Or maybe he didn’t think she was worth acknowledging.
Then he looked at Sanji, briefly. Was there a light in there for half a second; a flickering thought, passing by?
“Captain’s gotta take care of his crew,” he mumbled, head hung low now, eyes not visible under the brim of his hat. “’S what a captain does. You guys... you guys can’t...” He stood still again.
After some more long seconds, he raised his head just a little. Less horrifyingly pale and empty-looking now, he still seemed to be far away, looking at something a very long way off. Or, perhaps, trying to hear a sound thousands of sea leagues distant.
“Don’t say that,” he mumbled. “I’m not listening.” He clenched his fists, though his eyes were still far away. “I’m not. So stop saying that,” he whispered. His voice was so low Nami could barely catch it.
And then, abruptly, he unclenched his hands, his shoulders slumped, and he pulled down his hat and turned on his heels, walking away from the others.
Heavily, slowly, he went up the steps to the prow. Nami tensed – would he try to leave the islet and change course right now? – but Luffy just walked past the helm without a glance. Instead, he walked up to the railing on the starboard side, the side facing the islet, and sat himself down on it, legs crossed. He looked steadily down at the ex-Marines, watching them all from up there. From down on lawn deck, his face looked as set and unmoving as a statue.
*
He remained there on the same spot while the crew cautiously began to move according to plan. Nami asked Robin to follow her back down to get the logbook from the deserters and help get more information out of them. She felt pretty shaken up by the confrontation with Luffy, and was afraid her wits might be too scrambled to ask all the right questions, or to retain the answers well. Sanji went to the galley and came back with a barrel of water and a big sack of various foodstuffs and a few beat-up old kitchen utensils they could spare. Franky grabbed a handful of tools and some scraps of wood and metal before leaping overboard and making his way towards the baggler with a calculating eye. Chopper, Zoro and Brook stayed on the ship. Chopper found himself some chores to do, moving from one spot to the other with nervous energy; Brook and Zoro, however, stayed where they were on lawn deck and kept an eye on Luffy from there.
Luffy didn’t stir even once. He kept sitting unnaturally still while half the crew concluded their deal with the deserters below, simply watching over them in silence.
He didn’t move after Sanji returned, nor after Franky left the baggler not just repaired but with a new mast and sail, an improved rudder plus new additions for the purpose of keeping water out and provide for counterweight in heavy weather.
He remained as still as stone when Nami and Robin returned to the ship after nodding awkwardly to the ex-Marines, weighed down by their new knowledge; and showed no response when Doscaballos opened his mouth and, after some hesitation, called a tentative “Good luck!” towards the pirates (realising he couldn’t say “Thank you” since the Strawhats didn’t want to think of what they’d done as help, only a trade).
Only after the ship had pushed out from the islet, picking up a rising western wind and sailed on for five minutes, the islet no more in sight from his seat – only then did he finally show life again by slumping over, tilting precariously to one side of the railing briefly before gently toppling back and falling down onto the helm deck. He was already snoring peacefully when Zoro and Chopper reached him, seconds later.
*
(Continued in Chapter 7, part 2)
Some things of note: I’ve changed the name of the story from the working title “Fine” to “Absence”.
I’ve also definitely decided this is a Divergence Fic. Without spoiling anything, this takes place in an AU version where everything up through the end of Impel Down happened the same way, but the Marineford arc ended differently (more details behind the cut – avoid if you’re not up-to-date on the manga).
Also, there was a reference to Blackbeard in the flashback in Chapter 1 which I’ve removed due to power level differences.
This chapter has been betaed by the priceless and indefatigable
tonko and wendytigges, to which loads and loads of my gratitude go. Any remaining errors are my responsibility alone. Concrit much welcome and encouraged.Title: Absence, chapter 7, part 1 (part 2 to be posted now as well)
Previous chapters: Chapter One here, fic tag here; the whole fic on AO3 here.
Chapter 6, the previous chapter, started here, but it’s in three parts.
See the fic's tag for more chapters, like this: https://rainsometimes.dreamwidth.org/tag/fic:+absence
Rating: PG for language and dark themes
Warning For major angst and sadness
Summary: The crew copes with loss. Luffy doesn’t take it well (for more, see the ‘What has gone before’ section right behind the cut).
Characters: Strawhats
Pairing: None
WHAT HAS GONE BEFORE: In a battle where seakings fought alongside Marines against the ambushed Strawhats, Nami witnessed Usopp being killed or lethally wounded by an extremely large and fierce seaking, subsequently slain by Luffy. The Strawhats, in shock and outnumbered, retreated from the island where it happened before they had a chance to find the body.
Ever since waking up after the battle, Luffy seems to have completely forgotten Usopp ever existed, not even reacting to his name when spoken. (He has also forgotten Going Merry in a similar way.) However, as time goes on he has taken on some of Usopp’s traits as his own, and has also become extremely protective of the rest of the crew, to the point where he insists on taking on all the fighting himself. The crew wants Luffy sane again, and decided in council to turn back to the island where the death occurred, hoping both to give Usopp a real funeral and that the return will trigger Luffy’s memories. They kept this decision secret from Luffy for days.
In the last chapter, the crew came upon a tiny remnant of the very Marine force they last faced – now deserters severely down on their luck. After some extremely tense moments, Nami decided to trade with them, among other things giving them the crew’s log pose and instead receiving an Eternal Pose set for the island they’re heading for. When Luffy woke up and confronted Nami about this, she came clear about their current destination. He did not appear to be happy.
ABOUT THE DIVERGENCE:
*spoiler
spoiler
spoiler
spoiler*
This story starts perhaps a few months after the end of Marineford arc, but in this divergent version, Ace survived and while Whitebeard was still killed, Blackbeard didn’t get to eat his fruit. So, there’s still a big change and a new era, but not such a crushing defeat for the Whitebeard pirates and especially not so for Luffy. (It just felt way too cruel to Luffy to build on current canon for a Strawhat death-fic like this.) Enough time has passed for the Strawhats to meet up again, go to Fishman Island, then travel to the New World and have several adventures on different islands there.
DISCLAIMER: The characters and situations of One Piece were created and are owned by Eiichiro Oda. They are used here without permission for entertainment purposes only. This fic is not to be used for profit in any way.
******
Absence chapter 7, part one.
******
Chopper tried to fight the lurching feeling of the ground opening up beneath his feet. He’d known this was coming, right? They all had. He’d wanted to get it over with, too, just like Nami... But it still felt so awful. His throat felt as dry as sandpaper, his hooves clammy. What’s going to happen to us? he wondered.
Nami had met Luffy’s eyes when he asked her the question. But instead of staying that way and answering him right away, she looked around at all of them, maybe checking to see everyone was there. Her gaze lingered on Chopper and Brook – they, like Luffy, were the latecomers here, and she must wonder if they’d been filled in on what was going on. Chopper didn’t know if the brief, whispered words from Franky and Zoro covered everything, but at least he knew who those people on the islet and the low, embattled boat were.
He didn’t want to even look at them. He could understand why it was necessary to make a deal with them, but he didn’t want to be near them – didn’t want to be reminded that those people even existed. And he felt it wasn’t right that they would witness this moment.
But right now, he focused on looking back at Nami as fiercely and seriously as he could, trying to convey to her that yes, he’d been told something about it.
“Sorry, you guys,” said Nami now, still looking at the rest of the crew, not Luffy. “I traded our log pose without asking anyone else, except Sanji. But if you want to, we can still take it back. It’s not too late.”
Chopper shook his head with the others at this. That wouldn’t feel right. “No,” he mumbled, hearing the others mutter things like “Nah”, “You’re the navigator”, and “Deal’s a deal” – that last one from Zoro.
Nami bowed her head with a soft sigh, then took a deep breath and looked back at Luffy. He hadn’t moved his head, nor acknowledged her words to the others in any way. Chopper took two quiet steps to the side so he could see his captain’s face better.
“Nami.” That was all Luffy said, voice even lower and more intent than a minute ago. It was a clear reminder of his question.
“Because,” she said quietly, “we’re not going to that other island anymore. We’re going back. To the last island.” She paused for breath again, then continued, still keeping her voice level and fairly low. “We turned around at sunset two days ago. That’s why we’ve been sailing at night, to follow the stars since we couldn’t use the log pose.”
He blinked, once. Then his eyes redoubled their focus. “No. We’re not.”
“Yes, we are!” she burst out, then said in a lower, more controlled tone, “We are.”
He pulled at his hat. “We’re not. You’re lying. You’re just joking, Nami. But it’s a bad joke, so stop it.”
“It’s no joke.” Her voice was tired and flat again, but now the words spilled out much faster; she was almost babbling. “I turned the ship around two days ago at sunset, when you were sleeping. And that’s why we’ve been sailing at night now, so we could follow the stars, because we couldn’t use the log pose. And we didn’t tell you anything because we knew you wouldn’t understand and would” – here she paused for breath - “would take it badly.”
Again, there was that look of wide-eyed shock and betrayal on Luffy’s face, like a little boy who had suddenly been treated unjustly by someone he trusted utterly. It hurt to see. Chopper winced, hugging his arms to stop them from trembling.
Then his expression changed, something Chopper couldn’t define flashing over Luffy’s features. When it had passed, his eyes were urgent and intent rather than angry, as he took a step forward.
“Nami,” he said, reaching out a hand. Sanji twitched chivalrously; but this time, Luffy merely held her by the wrist in a protective way, “Nami, you can’t. You just can’t go back there.”
Nami flinched, then abruptly looked away, too much pain and compassion in her eyes. She pressed her lips close together. Was she trembling? Chopper wasn’t sure from where he was standing.
“I – I think we have to,” Nami said after some very long seconds. She closed her eyes briefly. “We left something...” Looking up, she took a few more deep breaths, then steadied herself and looked back at Luffy, softly removing his hand from her arm. “There are several reasons. For one thing, Robin... she doesn’t... she doesn’t want the rest of us to, to be in danger because of it, but I know she really does want to go back and read the poneglyph that was there, in that place. It’s part of her dream, you know. It’s important.” She brushed away a strand of hair from her face, then after a few seconds, hurriedly added, “But it wasn’t her idea! It was mine!”
“Nami’s correct,” said Robin. Chopper swerved to look up at her, as she stood right next to him. Her face was pale, her voice bleak. “It’s... that’s something I would like to do... for myself.” Her voice sank down very low, “I know it’s selfish, though.”
“Sorry, Robin,” said Luffy without moving, quiet but determined. “But we can’t go there now. Maybe later, when we’re really strong. When I’m the Pirate King. Then no-one’ll give us any trouble.”
“We can’t wait that long!” said Nami sharply. “We need to get back there now, or – or – I don’t know what will happen, but we just have to!” Her voice had grown frantic now.
Luffy’s face grew grimmer again. “No, we don’t,” he said tightly. “We shouldn’t. It’s a bad place. And you can’t decide that, Nami.”
Chopper clenched his front paws so hard it hurt. It felt wrong that Nami should stand there before Luffy’s quiet-angry face, looking so alone. But the fact that it really was all the rest of them against Luffy in the first place felt even more wrong. Everything about this felt wrong. Even if it was necessary.
“Luffy,” said Zoro in a low voice, stepping up so he stood closer to the two of them, captain and navigator. Crossing his arms, he went on, “Nami’s right. And she didn’t decide this by herself. We all talked it over and agreed. We’re going back.”
Luffy didn’t turn around, but his face twitched briefly, though his expression stayed the same. He kept looking steadily at Nami.
“It- it’s true,” said Chopper in a high voice, forcing himself to speak. “We talked it over, all of us did…”
“Shut up. I don’t care.” Luffy’s voice was low, monotonous. He only raised it slightly as he went on, crossing his arms, “I don’t care who made the decision. But you have to unmake it now. Turn around and go to the next island instead. We can’t go back there. It’s a bad place.”
Nami’s patience and self-control cracked at last. She snapped, “Why do you say it’s a bad place? You’re the one insisting everything was just fine, that we didn’t” – was she going to say lose anyone? wondered Chopper? But whatever it was, she bit down on it and instead went on – “that, that nothing really bad happened! So, so it shouldn’t– you’re not the one to talk!”
That was a really good point, thought Chopper, putting his head to one side, admiring Nami’s arguing skills. And it hadn’t occurred to him at all. Surely this, at least, would reach Luffy, making him pause and doubt himself, maybe even start remembering a tiny bit?
But if so, Luffy didn’t show it. He just looked at his navigator in unresponsive, unimpressed disapproval. “It’s a bad place,” he repeated flatly.
*
At the other side of the thin, rocky islet, close enough to see body language and hear shouting but too far to hear most of the Strawhat discussion, the former Marines were waiting for whatever the outcome might be. Taking their cue from the two leaders, most of them weren’t watching the Strawhats head-on, but kept busy with chores. They’d made a fire and had gathered as much precious rain water as their flasks and ladles could contain. Now people were changing bandages and washing wounds. Those who couldn’t do so for themselves were nursed by their comrades. Many were fishing, though they had little bait. A few early catches had already been put to fry on the rocks next to the fire, though it would be a while before anyone could eat them.
But none of them were talking very much, and when they did, they kept the voices down. And none of them were fools enough to think their leaders ignored what was going on with the Strawhats – they evidently paid as close attention as they could without outright staring.
Doscaballos and Pietro di Villa were acutely aware that their own fate hanged in the balance. Any minute now – no, any second – Strawhat Luffy could decide that old enemies were better dead than alive, and he was strong enough to kill them all without any help.
At least that would be quick, though. It seemed even more likely that the pirate captain would decide to go back on the deal they’d made with Cat Thief Nami, taking back their log pose and fail to go through with trading repair and provisions for information. That would leave them in the same bleak situation as when they came here, only with the pain of hope lost and the return of numb despair.
Then again, it was also quite possible that their former enemy would want to do something even crueller. Strawhat Luffy wasn’t particularly known for that kind of thing, but maybe that just meant he didn’t tend to leave witnesses. He was still a pirate, after all.
And they were powerless to affect the outcome of the pirate argument, too: whatever the deserters could think of to say, the Strawhats wouldn’t appreciate outsiders butting in on their affairs. Even less so former enemies.
All they could do was wait, going for useful tasks just in case they’d be allowed living.
“Looks like Cat Thief isn’t backing down,” remarked Villa quietly, as he whittled the tip of a broken oar-blade into fish-hooks.
Doscaballos bowed his head in assent. He was busy stuffing a pipe with tobacco for the former Captain Fredericks, whose broken arm prevented him from doing it himself.
“But the Strawhat doesn’t seem too happy about that, either,” he pointed out.
“’Course not,” said Villa, only darting a look from the corner of his eye towards the pirates. “It’s his authority that’s threatened.” He frowned in thought. “But you know,” he said in an even lower tone, “it doesn’t look much like a mutiny.”
Captain Fredericks accepted the pipe from Doscaballos with a grateful nod. After taking a puff, he asked just as quietly, “So what does it look like, then?”
Villa didn’t reply right away, finishing up one hook before starting on another. The pirates were being quiet right now, but hardly calm: the air felt full of tension. It was much harder to be and look impassive right now than half an hour ago. Hope would do that to you.
“Like a family quarrel,” he said.
Fredericks exhaled. “Ah.”
Doscaballos leaned back, crossing his arms, looking out towards the empty horizon, the quiet ocean. “Huh. Something to that,” he said. “Only, y’know… if that’s how soft he is, it kinda makes you wonder how these guys have gotten this far.”
“Yeah,” said Villa slowly. “Though… reminds me of some of the stories you hear about Whitebeard. But they might just be bunk.” He shrugged.
Fredericks took his pipe out from his mouth again. “You know,” he murmured, “I’ve tried to put two and two together. I wonder… perhaps our battle with them didn’t turn out quite as one-sided as we thought.”
“Huh.” Doscaballos breathed out. “You mean…”
“Yes.” Fredericks’ voice, still held low, yet felt as sharp as a well-honed sword’s edge, splitting the air.
“And if I’m right… well, if we survive this, I believe a large part of the reason why will be that Strawhat wasn’t awake when they first came upon us,” he murmured.
Villa shot another quick glance towards the pirates.
“Yeah…” he mumbled softly. “Might just be right about that.”
*
Nami supported herself on the Climatact, feeling weary. “I know it’s a bad place, Luffy,” she mumbled, rubbing her temple. “But...” The words slid away from her. Yes, they had good reasons to do this, but... it wasn’t as if Luffy wasn’t right. Even before anything had happened, before the trap was sprung, there had still been something indescribably creepy and unpleasant about that island. She’d been unable to put her finger on it, yet she remembered feeling very uncomfortable with its landscape: the low-leaning trees with leaves more brown than green, the sickly-smelling yellow moss that seemed to be everywhere, the rocks that crumbled when you stepped on them, the awkward-looking, mournfully calling birds... How much worse wouldn’t it be now?
She recalled the way the Marine deserters had talked about the island: how they’d escaped from it in such pitiful condition, determined not to stay there one moment longer. And that was where she was bringing the crew back. Her stomach knotted up again.
At this point, Sanji spoke up.
“Luffy,” he said with apparent calm. “Let’s say we do what you say and turn the ship around again. We take back the log pose from those poor shitty bastards” – he pointed with his thumb in the ex-Marines’ direction – “and sail on to the next island like we were doing before. Like usual. But you know there’ll be danger there, too.” He took a step closer, searching Luffy’s face. Luffy turned his head, his gaze finally letting go of Nami – it was hard for her not to slump in relief - to give Sanji a half-curious, half-blank look back.
“The Grand Line isn’t safe,” Sanji continued, spreading his palms in emphasis. “Are you going to let us fight those dangers, whatever they are – or will you insist on handling it all, like that pirate ship a few days ago?” Pausing to exhale, he then went on, more quietly, “We’re a crew, you know. You can’t do everything yourself.”
Luffy stared at him for a few long moments. Then he burst out, “I just want everyone to be together and have fun! And a captain’s got to protect his crew. …Besides, you guys are all so weird these days.”
Nami swallowed and looked down again, then quickly back up before she could change her mind. “But you can’t...” she said hoarsely, “...you can’t do that all the time, Luffy. You have to let us protect you, too. You have to let us fight.” Stop taking on the duty of fighting all by yourself, she wanted to say. Stop putting the whole burden of grief on us because you won’t see it’s there. Let’s split them up, and share.
Again, Luffy was quiet at first, but he looked blank and uncomprehending now. Then, he just blinked and repeated, “But you guys are so crazy now.” He shrugged. “So I can’t.” He turned his face away, eyes errant and shifty.
Nami jerked her chin up. “Captain.” She was amazed to hear how clear and cold she managed to make her voice sound, as she straightened up even more. It was as if it belonged to someone else. “If you turn the ship around, the rest of us will just turn it back when you look the other way. Or when you fall asleep.” She paused, drawing for breath before continuing. “We talked about overpowering you, but… I don’t think that’s the way to go. Especially since we have an Eternal Pose now. We won’t touch you, but we’ll keep turning back.”
After a moment, she added, reluctantly, “Even if you beat us up.” She didn’t think he would, but maybe if he became really desperate to ‘save’ them… in any case, he needed to know how seriously she took this, and that it wasn’t a violent kind of mutiny. At least not that. But she was sure he’d still see it as a betrayal.
Luffy just looked at her. He didn’t exactly stare and he certainly didn’t glare, only looked at her with round, disbelieving eyes.
It was as if all the air had gone out of him. This same way, Nami remembered, was how he had looked back on her island, as she had tried to convince him that she was just an evil backstabber who wasn’t worth saving.
He had been right, back then, in refusing to believe the apparent facts. Was it any wonder he clung to denial now, too?
An eternity seemed to pass.
“I... I have to,” mumbled Luffy finally, hoarsely. One hand was raised.
Then he stopped, letting the hand fall. The light went away from his eyes.
He turned and looked at all of them, his eyes almost alien with their lightlessness. Robin seemed composed, as usual – less hard and distant than she’d been when they were first confronted with the ex-Marines, but still not showing much emotion. Brook seemed quite calm as well, his posture neat and contained, his skullface unusually immobile and hard to read. Sanji, Franky and Chopper wore grim, tight expressions, all visibly struggling to hold back signs of compassion that would do little good. But Zoro, on the other hand, wasn’t looking very hard-faced any more. He looked... fairly open, to Nami’s eyes. As if trying very hard to tell Luffy, without words, Get this. I know you can.
Luffy turned back, his eyes meeting hers briefly, but it felt as if he didn’t really see her. Or maybe he didn’t think she was worth acknowledging.
Then he looked at Sanji, briefly. Was there a light in there for half a second; a flickering thought, passing by?
“Captain’s gotta take care of his crew,” he mumbled, head hung low now, eyes not visible under the brim of his hat. “’S what a captain does. You guys... you guys can’t...” He stood still again.
After some more long seconds, he raised his head just a little. Less horrifyingly pale and empty-looking now, he still seemed to be far away, looking at something a very long way off. Or, perhaps, trying to hear a sound thousands of sea leagues distant.
“Don’t say that,” he mumbled. “I’m not listening.” He clenched his fists, though his eyes were still far away. “I’m not. So stop saying that,” he whispered. His voice was so low Nami could barely catch it.
And then, abruptly, he unclenched his hands, his shoulders slumped, and he pulled down his hat and turned on his heels, walking away from the others.
Heavily, slowly, he went up the steps to the prow. Nami tensed – would he try to leave the islet and change course right now? – but Luffy just walked past the helm without a glance. Instead, he walked up to the railing on the starboard side, the side facing the islet, and sat himself down on it, legs crossed. He looked steadily down at the ex-Marines, watching them all from up there. From down on lawn deck, his face looked as set and unmoving as a statue.
*
He remained there on the same spot while the crew cautiously began to move according to plan. Nami asked Robin to follow her back down to get the logbook from the deserters and help get more information out of them. She felt pretty shaken up by the confrontation with Luffy, and was afraid her wits might be too scrambled to ask all the right questions, or to retain the answers well. Sanji went to the galley and came back with a barrel of water and a big sack of various foodstuffs and a few beat-up old kitchen utensils they could spare. Franky grabbed a handful of tools and some scraps of wood and metal before leaping overboard and making his way towards the baggler with a calculating eye. Chopper, Zoro and Brook stayed on the ship. Chopper found himself some chores to do, moving from one spot to the other with nervous energy; Brook and Zoro, however, stayed where they were on lawn deck and kept an eye on Luffy from there.
Luffy didn’t stir even once. He kept sitting unnaturally still while half the crew concluded their deal with the deserters below, simply watching over them in silence.
He didn’t move after Sanji returned, nor after Franky left the baggler not just repaired but with a new mast and sail, an improved rudder plus new additions for the purpose of keeping water out and provide for counterweight in heavy weather.
He remained as still as stone when Nami and Robin returned to the ship after nodding awkwardly to the ex-Marines, weighed down by their new knowledge; and showed no response when Doscaballos opened his mouth and, after some hesitation, called a tentative “Good luck!” towards the pirates (realising he couldn’t say “Thank you” since the Strawhats didn’t want to think of what they’d done as help, only a trade).
Only after the ship had pushed out from the islet, picking up a rising western wind and sailed on for five minutes, the islet no more in sight from his seat – only then did he finally show life again by slumping over, tilting precariously to one side of the railing briefly before gently toppling back and falling down onto the helm deck. He was already snoring peacefully when Zoro and Chopper reached him, seconds later.
*
(Continued in Chapter 7, part 2)
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Date: 2010-06-25 07:15 am (UTC)Stop taking on the duty of fighting all by yourself, she wanted to say. Stop putting the whole burden of grief on us because you won’t see it’s there. Let’s split them up, and share.
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