Wallowing in water 7 angst again...

[rainsometimes]

Here’s something of a downer, I’m afraid, more dark in tone than my stuff tends to be. Feel a bit guilty about posting it, in fact, though not enough not to do so. It’s one of those "I don’t-really-like-this-but-it’s-kinda-interesting" ideas that you can’t quite let go of.

It’s delving into something that might have been on Zoro’s mind during manga chapter 438. I hope this doesn’t come across as Zoro-bashing – I’m fully aware he probably never felt this way in the first place, but even if he did, as I’ve tried to depict it’s just a small part of him that does, one that he wouldn’t accept as the real him - perhaps his inner demon, even.
(Maybe it's because I think that, just as I try not to shy away from unpleasant thoughts here, neither would Zoro?)

Anyway, warning for unnecessary angst and all.
Oh, and it’s in verse.



Desolation

The ship sails on. Explosives fly.
And right then, somewhere deep inside
A small voice, not his usual self,
All dark and hidden, like a splinter,
As sharp as steel and cold as winter,
Speaks words he does not want to heed,
that Maybe this is what we need.

Maybe this is what they need.
A loss like this, cut sharp and deep,
To know they’re men of purpose now,
Of cold resolve, who’ll say and do,
And bear the consequences still,
Who’ll sail on by and not look back,
Because they have decided to,
Though it’s not what they’d like to do.
Abandoners.

To leave behind
The one who couldn’t leave behind
A broken, wounded, dying friend,
Though made of wood and canvas only,
So left himself behind instead,
Fought his captain, lost and bled.
That happened, then.
And this is now.

For he, the swordsman, said he’d go,
And leave his captain, leave him too,
If he won’t listen, won’t be tough,
And hard, and captain-like enough.

‘The choice is made. We can’t back out.
Our hearts will heal, or maybe freeze.
We’ll seek our goals and won’t complain,
Grown harder now to stand the pain,
Won’t have to see him fight and bleed,
And that’s what being pirates means.

And maybe this is what we need.’


He doesn’t like these thoughts. They don’t belong,
don’t feel like his. They will be proven wrong.
He waits and listens. Any moment now.



Tomorrow there will probably be fluffy pics! ^_^

Comments

addendum

[serrende.livejournal.com]

(And typically enough, after sending this comment I get worried again that I might be too hard on Zoro. To be fair, when he does show strong feelings of some kind, it can be extra moving because it so rarely happens. And actually, the more I get into OP fandom, the more I like him. I certainly thinks he's a good deal more interesting than I used to think way back when.)